Still looking for an athletic girl with no curves

Curvy or curve-free? This serial poster wants an athletic girl because he likes to hang around and watch movies? WTF?

Looking for a female that is in shape and has no curves to her. Flat chest, no hips. Like a 12 year old boy but not a boy. I am going to tell you I do not know what I am looking for. Friends, relationship or whatever I really do not know. I just got out of a bad relationship with my left hand. Sad but true I am only 35 and we found that we are no longer sexually compatible. Long story we can get into that later if we hit it off. I am easy going and laid back.

A little more about me . . .

I am 6’0 172 lbs. in pretty good shape. Reason why I am looking for an athletic gal? I love to hang out in bars or just hang around and watch a movie. I have a photo so if you would like mine send yours with an e-mail. That is the most opaque way I could think of to describe myself.

Well that’s all for now hope to hear from you soon.

any girls of much hottness out thear? Want to ride my ride?

Serial imcomprehensible poster...

i'm much naughtiness be real hot 18-19 im 6.0 172p fun nice americo guy great lover as I know how to work my penis in many different ways itz big and just got this xwing so lets go ou-tits sunny, xruise to Naboo ok? if ur a gold digger, igot the gold lol;) send a pic for a reply and be 4 real dont waste time its sunny outside. i like ur boobs. xoxo



He gets letters:

"Me one hottness americo lady....com on tits sunny outside! Actually now tits cloudy! Hot woman looking for a hot man for lots of fun...plz be hot like ur in the pic! HEHE...me love you long time! Like to wear the yellow for pictures! Lover forever, Gold digger. When is this guy going to give up? I mean seriously..."

Maturity and Experience...Knowing What Women Want

Married men. Yuck.

There are many things which catch the attention of a sophisticated and discriminating man like myself when I scroll through craigslist…one of them is a woman who signals how deeply she desires me...that her appetites crave a man power, a man of purpose, a man of ripped definition and deadly seriousness, a man who overuses ellipses... there are times when your insatiable hunger for something simple and utterly different cannot be denied...in your soul you harbor a lust for me...but life teaches us to be wary of others...especially those who are exploitive and predatory...those who may seem dangerous…those with a command of proper spelling and punctuation….those who exude a raw and animalistic sensuosity…if we are kucky enough to find a good friend we are kuckier to realize that person can be a lover too....so when we glide through the internets we may wonder whether we will taste true passion, experience raw and animalistic sensuosity and savor pure erotic delights...and real friendship on top of me (or the other way if you prefer)...well the potential is here...but like anything else risks must be taken….deadly serious risks….while I prefer women aged 27-33 whose bodies are not so wrinkly and saggy…. as a single man I must also risk putting my brand of man on woman sensuosity out there....so discretion is paramount…that is why I am advertising this on craigslist ..... find me MrBananaHammock….

I am sitting on the floor in your panties

Or you are sitting on the floor in your panties...

i have this vision in my mind
we are sitting cross legged on the floor
across from each other
i am in your panties
and your bra
you're naked since i’m wearing you undergarments
sharing a bottle of MD 20/20
no glasses
listening to music
lights are out
you’re all, “it’s pretty fucking dark in here”
i’m like, “yea well what do you want me to do about it”
and you’re like, “why not turn on a fuckin’ light Einstein
and i’m like, “shut yer yap”
you able to come to that place

********** I'm Really Broke (for real!!) *************

He's handsome, I'm broke...

I'm working for a nonprofit(I've been here for a while). Since I don't know many people in the area, I thought of posting an ad here.

I'm a really fun and outgoing man, and yes, I really am broke as you'll see when the check arrives and I make no move to pick it up.

Write to me and I'll tell you more about me. Please send a pic if you have one too.

Kisses Like Butterflies

Awash in bad similies and metaphors...

I want to spend time with a woman who I can talk to all night about anything until we are kicked out of the bar and quite possibly required to take breathalyzer tests to avoid spending a night in lock-up. We know that we are into each other by the way are eyes are on each other like a Mary-Kate Olsen’s on a Big Mac®.

Her kisses are butterfly kisses. Like the way a butterfly kisses the windshield of my Toyota as we cruise down 95 and we stick to the seats making out and talking more about our dreams, lives, and favorite countries wondering how we can get there in August. I tear at her blouse like a man, perhaps even me, who is excited to receive his UPS package from Amazon.com. His Star Wars Box Set has finally arrived! My member becomes hard. Not hard like the former Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet, but rather hard like when you accidentally bang your elbow on your desk.

Let's make this spring and summer the start of our plans. Please send a pic and I will extend the courtesy as well.

i need some man on woman experience from a nice lady

Does a plea for needing experience really work? Let's find out...

im a 35 y/o virgin. 6'170lbs, i live in adams morgan. im a grate speller. i am in need of some experience. this is kinda of a hook up thing but age isnt that important unless you’re my age or ur older. but ur stats and a pic would be nice. pleez be cute and slim. i hope you can help me. would be a plus if ur in the same area. my caps key is missing. deflower me.



He gets letters:

"...and now I need someone to clean up the Diet Dr. Pepper I spewed all over my keyboard while reading your post. And bring some Kleenex while you're at it ...my nostrils are burning from the carbonation I exhaled."

Successful Entrepreneur Type Seeks Nice Girl to Share the Wealth

Ugh. Successful Executive Types...

I’ve just recently entered into a lucrative contract to produce a clone army for the Republic and now I am looking to meet a woman who would enjoy a great relationship with a nice down to earth gentleman. Relationship is not out of the question.

I am not just looking for a physical relationship, but also a dinner companion, snark companion, movie watchin’ companion, reading companion, tv veggin’ companion, having a beer at a bar type of companion, travel partner. Please be as real as I am.

I’m tall, Caucasian, and very serious.



He gets letters:

"You are awesome!"

":) Keep up the good work. :)"

"Hello! My name is *****, I live in Maryland. I'm tall and attractive
(was told). I have lots of interests, I love going in for sports,
traveling, reading, dancing, singing... I also have a sence of humor
and charm. I'm misterious and series. Would be happy to hear from you."

Check me out! I get women!

Honestly. Nothing gets me more bothered than the romantically challenged.

I know that essence of a good relationship is losing every argument.
Being wrong is not something you just do on special occasions, but a way of life.
You are especially wrong during “that time of the month.”
Flowers. Even if they claim to hate them, you get them flowers.
Don’t hit on her friends or family.
Never tell her that butt “looks big” in those jeans even if she insists on honesty. It is a trap.
If you want to avoid a painfully long discussion and perhaps some screaming on her part, never, never offer advice.
Small thoughtful gifts bring blowjobs.

The Scene...

His Scene. My Scene...

The scene....

You enter Angles in Adams Morgan just before midnight.
Through the dim lights, the sound of screaming drunk frat guys and Journey on the jukebox, you walk to an empty wooden stool and sit down...casually glancing to your left, you notice Him, though before seeing Him, you feel Him
.
Your eyes focus in the dim lights, the bar candles flickering, the mellifluous voice of Stephen Perry…”Ain't always what it's supposed to be, Oh girl you stand by me, I'm forever yours...faithfully.” He's at least 6 feet tall, but shorter sitting down, boney girl arms, and from the eyes you see, a man of depth, a man of passion, a man whose probably had one too many Miller Lites. His brown hair adds the perfect accent to the dancing candle light and shimmers on his lime green leisure suit and yellow buffalo shirt.

It’s the eyes…they capture you with their depth. Instantly you know this man is one of power, purpose, raw sexual magnetism, of, dare I say, taste and being accustomed to the finer things in life. A man who probably knows how to do the hustle as well as the white man’s overbite.

Your casual glance leads your eyes to lap. The bunch of fabric at his crotch leads you to believe this is a guy that uses his penis pump every single day.

Your eyes meet, and despite his boney girl arms, you know his eyes are not those of a frail girly man, but one of mental focus, savage intensity, and strength. A man practiced in the finer arts of man on woman sensuality.

Slight smiles are exchanged and your heart skips a beat when you hear him say a simple “wanna do it in the bathroom?” through his eyes.

You know instinctively He is one of those who has power....the power to hire and fire at will, move objects with his mind, the power to snatch the remote from your hands and channel surf, never landing on a single channel, but cycling through all 150 channels over and over and over and over.

His voice flows across the table past you, as he orders a drink from the waitress. A firm voice this man has...definitely one who commands respect...and who knows how to be in charge. You look at him closer….he must be in his late 20s, but perhaps early 30s…not sure.

You know he is not one to simply charge at every woman He sees. To most he is just a friend, to some a confidant, and to a rare few; more.

A waitress places a drink before you. Puzzled you look up at her since you’d not ordered a thing. With a finger she points to Him. And as smile crosses your face you are momentarily distracted as he deftly slips a Rohypnol into your Appletini.



He gets letters:

"Well played!"

Lunch Boredom? Let me take you on the best lunch date ever conceived

I don't get the if you don't like golf, let's golf part of this guys post. But best lunch date ever?

Are you bored at lunch, well let me take you on a best lunch date ever conceived by mortal man. . .

First we will meet around Metro centre, then either we ride unicorns or we can skip to haines point, then we shoot some balls at the Golf driving range, if you are not into golfing then we can just go golfing, after that we swim across the potomac and have lunch at the airport Sbarro. If we like each other I'll buy us a packet of SKITTLES® and we'll just taste the rainbow™!

No longer psycho-friendly. Please respond with pic . . .

He gets letters:

"is this real or are you on some psychedelic drugs?"

"Aaaah, that was the cutest ad on CL I've ever read. Nice. Hope you found
that lunch date. Take care and don't forget to ride the MILKY WAY"

"that is so funny, are you mimiking another advert. That is so hilariious. Just for
that I would love to go out to the lunch date with you. I am not into
golfing, so I guess we will just go golfing . . .hit me back."

Finnish on my workscreen

Finnish on mine, Old French on this repeat poster...


Hyvää huomenta. Puhutteko englantia? Minä en ymmärrä suomea. Jutellaan toistekin !

Which's Finnish (about 5 minutes ago), a greeting and a statement of an inability to speak finnish and a request of the speaker if they speak english.

Greetings? English? Finnish? Is any of this interesting? In any way compelling?

I'm not sure it is.

And if you think it is I might find you dull.

Or we might annoy each other so much that we couldn't help liking each other even more, like in some movie.

Which couldn't help but be just as amusing and entertaining.

He gets letters:

"thanks, adams morgan funny man. about time you made fun of this guy."

"Hyvaa paiva. Minun nimi on Kirsten."

Some cute fun grl for marvelousness out there? :-)

Mr. France Actor Guy is back. Still very new to town.

Very very new in town looking for a real cute slim marvelous fun easy 25-30 grl for fun or more...Im from Michigan originally, you betcha, so im marvelous cool down to earth no games no baggage funny nasally Michigan accent etc...im policy weenie and do work-modelling for fun :-) so send me urpic and lets go out listen to Bob Seger and his Silver Bullet Band or something-later babes-send urpic for a reply.

Super Hot SWM loves to lick pussy

Some of us really really like licking pussy.

i'm very hot (at least thats what my mom tell me) and i love hot women, i want to lick your pussy till your pussy can't take any more, the SPCA won't allow me to adopt my own as they are aware of my proclivity for pussy-licking and my neighbor got a restraining order after she found out I've been licking her cat...

bonus if you have plenty of vet solutions hair ball preparation - tuna flavor on hand.

~removed by cl community~

Curious Mr. Banana Hammock

WTF???

I'm 35.
I'm 6’0".
I'm not racist.
I am not of mixed descent.
My name is also not George.
I eat endangered animals and take plenty of HGHs.
I have a graduate degree in Art History.

At some point, you just have to realize that you're not going to convince certain people of your point of view.

So this is something I've been wondering for a while. How much of an influence does society have over the physical preference a person gives Mr. Banana Hammock? Here are the guidelines:

1. Asian girls prefer: Mr. Banana Hammock
2. Black girls prefer: Mr. Banana Hammock
3. White girls prefer: Mr. Banana Hammock
4. Latino girls prefer: Mr. Banana Hammock
5. Gay men prefer: Mr. Banana Hammock, but Mr. Banana Hammock doesn’t go there.

The question is, why? There is only so much Mr. Banana Hammock to go around. Is it my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt? Is it my ripped definition? The hours I spend in the gym working on my glutes, my lats, my abs? Is it my gold medallion of Zhuangzi and Huizi strolling on Bridge Hao and contemplating whether or not the fish are happy? Is it my head bobbing to the rhythm of music that only I can hear? Is the influence more social or genetic?

So I’m on my way to work today. The red line isn’t as crowded as has been of late, so there is plenty of room for me to give the ladies a Front Double Biceps, Front Lat Spread, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps, and signature Back Lat Spread. With my physique my bodybuilding poses are sure to impress. A pretty thirty-something blonde with a Peace Corps badge asks for a charcoal rubbing of my abs. I am happy to oblige before she departs at Dupont Circle.

I admire the good work she and others do around the world for the people whose bodies are less developed than my own. This gets me to thinking about how I can do more for these unfortunates. I am thinking that I could work through my multinational conglomerate to donate a million doses of Pump Tech™ to those in the third world. The product has done wonders for yours truly. It has jacked up my Nitric Oxide levels, increased my vascular response, and my muscles have blown up like balloons. It would nice to see people from Gabon, Sudan, and Somalia seriously pumped.

Baffling...

Here's a little something for you not slutty enough bitches out there

A-Machine thy name is misogyny...

Why the fuck do I have to send a picture at all? Why the fucking fuck won’t you pay for my fucking meal? I’m the one that has to listen to you talk about how mother fucking magazine ads are distorting your body image? You’re fucking fat. Fucking get over it, ya fat fuck. Fuck. Also, why the fuck do you want to make sure that it's strictly platonic, not fucking? Fuck yea.

For fuck's sake, you D.C. women need to pull your diplomas (all three) out of your fucking asses. Great. You're intelligent. You're discovering what we men have known for years. There is a lot of room in our asses.

There is a parable about a happy monkey called Sherbert. Sherbert lived in Israel, in the time of Jesus, and was a very happy monkey because his owner was a kind man who gave him dates and bananas and allowed him to watch the adult channels after the kids had gone to bed. All Sherbert had to do to earn this exemplary Jewish hospitality was do some tricks to cheer the kids up when they were sad, allow himself to be hugged, and not crap in the bloody kitchen (although, as Sherbert tried to point out, the floor of the whole stone hut was covered in shit anyway, so why discriminate?)

One day, Sherbert noticed that the people who lived next door to his owners had bought their children a parrot to play with, a beautiful creature of myriad colours who stunned all who beheld him fly. They called him Rainbow, and he became much loved in the area (although some were wary of his little ice skates. I mean, this is the fucking desert, you know?) Sherbert, however, was happy to have a new animal friend in the area, who he could smoke snouts with round the back of the house during the day, and could complain to about the ongoing stupidity of the dominant race. But soon Sherbert, as any animal in a basic story such as this would, began to feel the green eyed monster, and shortly after became jealous of the parrot as well. So, one monkey night while he was curled up in his divan bed, he hatched a plan.

The next day, little Jehusapha, the youngest daughter of the family, watched in bemusement as Sherbert began to prowl around the house squawking. Later, he climbed to the roof, and, still making that odd coughing sound that didn't come naturally to his monkey vocal organs, he flapped his arms and jumped off. Sherbert died three hours later in hospital.

And ladies. Sex isn't your worst enemy. Just plagiarism. See above and what happened to poor fucking Sherbert. As soon as you figure out how to enjoy it, sex not plagiarism, you'll be able to have your cake and fucking eat it too. Try checking out how fun fucking can be on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night or Saturday morning. Or Tuesday, I’m available then too. You're not going to wind up married until you're fucking 34 or 35 when you lower your fucking standards anyway. So in the meantime, do yourself a favor. Pull down them little satin-like drawers you're wearing, comb through those hairs until you find the tingle that makes your cheeks go flush, spread them wings, and let the Mr. Banana Hammock-machine into your life.

I also prefer internet porn to magazines...shit?

He gets letters:

"you seem very angry. hope you find the woman of your dreams w/ that demeanor. eesh."

"geessh why sooo hostile?"

Super Freaky Girls Only

Boys and their toys...

High-performance women only. Women who can pull many G's only. Limited time only.



He gets letters:

"Adams Morgan Mocker of Bad Ads Dude - YOU ROCK! The dorky government drone ID necklace is the best part!!"

"So what is that thing in your driveway? Any way that could involve kinky sex? Just kidding...sort of. I'm 25, also live near Adams Morgan. Might be up for discussing the possibilities."

Let's Sue the guy that proposes suing Craigslist

He posts this tripe every single day...

Okay, I’ve posted on Craigslist in the past, and had some measure of success, if merely engaging witty repartee is the benchmark of success. But, I certainly haven’t met the love of my life here even though I’ve invested far too much time than I want to think about repeatedly reading his posts, reposts, rereposts and rerereposts ad nauseum. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but ultimately, not for me. He needs a new schtick. It’s getting on my nerves and since the fault clearly cannot lie with me (I’m not rereposting this nonsense, obviously the fault lies with him). So, like anyone who’s been wronged, I’m going to sue him. I’m looking for a sharp woman who is up for assisting me. Legal training might be useful, I don’t know what the hell I am doing.

After deep and careful reflection, I’ve decided to sue for the following:

1. $1,000 in lost wages due to reading his stuff on work-time;
2. $200,000 in future medical bills regarding my therapy for post-traumatic stress reading his posts;
3. $400 for various drinks I drink to try to forget him;
4. $2 million in emotional damages.

Write back, and we can discuss our legal strategy over a beer in some dark bar.

Does poetry turn you on? Let's hop into bed...

Mmmmmm. Poetry...

I live in the ears of a woman...
Who lives on a wave...
Thrown by Todd on the beach...
Can you hear me?
I say, "Put down my fuckin' remote"
Nonplussed, you choose American Idol...
Your eyes? Placid pools of long forgotten stump water
I kiss you
You shiver and shake like a badly tuned diesel engine...
I kiss you
You absently utter, "Vonzell is the bomb..."
I kiss you
And subconsciously agree...
And my disillusion is complete...

(with special thanks to MI GIRL).

I want to kiss you

Yuck...

I want to kiss you. I want to cup your butt with my hands. I want to press my body against yours. I want to dance my tongue across your lips before slipping it into one of your nostrils. I want my tongue to spend fleeting moments touching yours, moving over your cheeks and into your ears. Then maybe I'll want to lick your forehead and drool in your hair. Then I'll scuff my feet against a rug and then touch the back of your neck becuase I want to feel that little static electric shock that I ALWAYS feel the moment before I kiss somebody.

He gets letters:

"hilllllllarious! i saw that first "i want to kiss you" post and rolled my eyes. some of these guys take this (and themselves) altogether too seriously. bravo and thanks for the laugh -"

Save the Games for Real World/Road Rules Inferno II

Games? On Craigslist? No way...

Attractive cracker amer male seeking to establish a mature friendship and possibly relationship with a good-natured and warm-hearted female (under 30 and attractive preferably) who lives in the Adams Morgan vicinity. Co-dependents and a nice rack would be a plus! Please describe yourself and/or provide a photo with your response.

Hello Mellow Fellow (Can I buy you some Jell-o™)

Friends don't let friends do drugs...

Let’s go to Popeyes, I’ll get you anything you want in the menu, even a catfish po’boy if you want but only one signature side. Then Jell-o™. There’s always room for Jell-o™. I’m medium buck wicked super sweet good looking. I’ve been at DC for a short while and decided that all of the girls that I’ve met at the bars that I’ve been too were either, dumb, not really ugly but just ok girls doing a really forced impression of a good looking girl, didn’t know how to use commas, properly, like me, couldn’t match my intellectualismness, or had boyfriends.

As for me, I’m wicked handsome if you think medium + handsome = wicked handsome, and too too funny. And smart and well read and all the stuff women like in theory: wicked handsomeness, smartness, funniness, genorositiness foodwise, etc...

You should have your own flava. Mine’s lemon, so you can’t have that flava. It would be rad if you were single, cute, and smart. Artsy and/or fartsy would be rad as well. Here are things that I like, it would obviously be better if you liked them or have heard of them.

Favorite Albums
1. Tom Jones – Tom Jones Reloaded
2. Lloyd Cole – Music in a Foreign Language
3. William Shatner – Has Been
4. Dead Kennedy’s – Too Drunk to Fuck
5. Meat Puppets – Huevos
6. The The – Soul Mining
7. Belle & Sebastian – Dear Catastrophe Waitress
8. Barry White – The Very Best of Berry White
9. DC Starr – Rockin’ in the Classroom
10. The Exploited – Punks Not Dead

I omitted greatest hits albums so Billy Squire, The “Hair” Soundtrack and Isaac Hayes got the “Shaft.” Blammo!

My favorite books are Beautiful Losers and the Bagavadghita. I Love Marrs and Loath Alcott. Super Blammo!

My favorite movie is Embrace of the Vampire or any movie where the actress takes off her top and if I saw kickball or soccerball where you were going step I would kick it out of the way. Don’t give me a keyboard, monitor, and computer.



He gets letters:

"As my favorite 3 year old would say, 'you are cracking my head off'."

serious young WM seeks discreet even younger F lover

Is that a rubberband ball in your pocket or are you just "happy"?

I'm looking for an younger woman (29 and under) who is discreet, professional, perhaps single, can make time during the day and who is interested in a long term affair with a younger man.

I'm in good shape, 6'1, 170 pounds, elliptical train, attractive and fun. I've attached a few pictures to verify (and hopefully entice...) Of course - no face shot here! We can exchange those pictures privately.



I will respond to every serious inquiry. I am open to ages as long as they are in the ranges I mentioned above... its just that I tend to be more attracted to younger women.

Hi, my name is Mr. Banana Hammock...

"Hey Baby. What's your sign" is so last week...

You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!

This is how I pick up chicks in bars, so I decided it will work online.

You CL men embarrass all men with your girlish behavior

Mr. cute and cuddly gave me an excuse to revive this character, whom I love dearly...

Screw Passover. I stick to a strict regimen of eating high-protein endangered species -- lowland gorilla, emperor penguin, red panda. I’m in training for the Bali Jute Mill Bodybuilding Invitational in Bangladesh next month. Along with the training regimen developed by yours truly, the SuperFreak Workout for Juiced-Up Psychos, handfuls of PUMP TECH™ washed down with ISS Effervescent Creatine Orange and shots of Goldschlager should keep my body in top physical form.

To work or to gym? That is the question. I head for the gym. Put on my extra large lime green banana hammock, first slathering on the bikini bite to keep everything in place. I get to work. Preacher Reverse Curl, Seated Concentration Curl, Crossover Chest Fly, Pullover Crunch. Done, I hit the shower. I air dry. My body glistens as I slip into my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt.

I hop the 42 bus to Dupont Circle. Then it’s the red line to Judiciary square. Many cuties admiring my body so I give them a couple of poses -- Front Lat Spread, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps. I point and wink at a few. They are not disappointed. The train arrives and is crowded…hands are running up and down my washboard abs and kneading my rock hard glutes. A beautiful freckled blonde asks me to bend something for her with a piece of iron rebar that she has along with her, having heard that my glutes can bend iron rebar into origami swan shapes. A gallery in Dupont wants to show my unique butt sculptures, what they call them anyway, so I’ve been practicing folding more difficult animals. I bend her a leaping stag. She gets off at Metro Center before I can get a number.

As I type this missive, my thick gold chain bracelet clangs on my keyboard. The noise it makes reminds me of Tibetan prayer bells and I ponder the essence of me -- muscle mass, power, endurance, style, mental focus, manliness. That is what I am about. And if you are tired of the “cute and cuddly” New Age milquetoasts that frequent craigslist, drop me a line.

He gets letters:

"Hey, Now that was one of the funniest posts I've read in a damn long time. You're a good writer too, which is hard to come across. Ironically, you've revealed more
about yourself than the typical guy who posts about how "down to earth" he is. I'm only 20, so you may reckon me to be a bit too young, but thanks for inducing a real "lol" in me."

"Hi, I just saw your ad and would like to keep intouch. I moved here recently and would like learn more about the people and places here. I am small and fit. I love life and traveling as well as the great outdoor. I have been described by friends both women and men that I am very cute, intelligent and fun to be around. I can be reach at *************** where I am in grad school."

Jazz Fans

Ok, so I mostly stole this from a great Kids in the Hall skit. But it was a funny skit. And it was a response to this guy looking for Jazz Fans. And I was bored and uninspiried to write my own crap. Oh, and I really do like Jazz.

One thing I hear a lot is, people say, "Mr. Banana Hammock, what's this with you and Jazz? What's the beef with you and Jazz music?"

I say, "Well, I really hate Jazz."

They say, "What do you hate about poor old Jazz?"

I say, "The sound. The sound that Jazz instruments make when they're being manipulated by Jazz players to the delight of Jazz enthusiasts. I think of it as musical barf."

They say, "I don't think you've given Jazz a chance."

Well, I maintain, I haven't given dating fat chicks, but. . .Well, I did give dating fat chicks a chance, but that was only because I was threatened with Jazz.

X-Wing Fighter Pilot, Space Trekker, Loves Snark + Tall and Pasty

Can your Ducati outrun my X-Wing? We'll see...

Several years ago I went to battle with Darth Vader and the Death Star. Total dude ranch! Princess Leia gave me a medal at the Rebel Alliance HQ and I told her just that. Then I went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Incredible food and what a party. And boobs! I love boobs.



My passion is traveling, though right now the Euro is too strong and going to hold off on Europe.

Been to Tatooine? I'd like to use that as a base camp for a few days and x-wing out to the Ewok village on Endor and to Cloud City on Bespin.

I enjoy flying my X-Wing. It's loud, fast and fun.

Very easy for me to get people to laugh. Life is too short not too.

Into all kinds of food. Pretty good at grilling on my BBQ. I like: Vietnamese, Chinese, French, Italian you name it. Like Sushi, including Smoke Eel.

My baggage is carry on.

Looking to meet a SWF who is: Fun, Thin & in Shape, Likes to laugh & more.

Please send a photo when saying hello to me.

Enjoy your day.