You CL men embarrass all men with your girlish behavior

Mr. cute and cuddly gave me an excuse to revive this character, whom I love dearly...

Screw Passover. I stick to a strict regimen of eating high-protein endangered species -- lowland gorilla, emperor penguin, red panda. I’m in training for the Bali Jute Mill Bodybuilding Invitational in Bangladesh next month. Along with the training regimen developed by yours truly, the SuperFreak Workout for Juiced-Up Psychos, handfuls of PUMP TECH™ washed down with ISS Effervescent Creatine Orange and shots of Goldschlager should keep my body in top physical form.

To work or to gym? That is the question. I head for the gym. Put on my extra large lime green banana hammock, first slathering on the bikini bite to keep everything in place. I get to work. Preacher Reverse Curl, Seated Concentration Curl, Crossover Chest Fly, Pullover Crunch. Done, I hit the shower. I air dry. My body glistens as I slip into my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt.

I hop the 42 bus to Dupont Circle. Then it’s the red line to Judiciary square. Many cuties admiring my body so I give them a couple of poses -- Front Lat Spread, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps. I point and wink at a few. They are not disappointed. The train arrives and is crowded…hands are running up and down my washboard abs and kneading my rock hard glutes. A beautiful freckled blonde asks me to bend something for her with a piece of iron rebar that she has along with her, having heard that my glutes can bend iron rebar into origami swan shapes. A gallery in Dupont wants to show my unique butt sculptures, what they call them anyway, so I’ve been practicing folding more difficult animals. I bend her a leaping stag. She gets off at Metro Center before I can get a number.

As I type this missive, my thick gold chain bracelet clangs on my keyboard. The noise it makes reminds me of Tibetan prayer bells and I ponder the essence of me -- muscle mass, power, endurance, style, mental focus, manliness. That is what I am about. And if you are tired of the “cute and cuddly” New Age milquetoasts that frequent craigslist, drop me a line.

He gets letters:

"Hey, Now that was one of the funniest posts I've read in a damn long time. You're a good writer too, which is hard to come across. Ironically, you've revealed more
about yourself than the typical guy who posts about how "down to earth" he is. I'm only 20, so you may reckon me to be a bit too young, but thanks for inducing a real "lol" in me."

"Hi, I just saw your ad and would like to keep intouch. I moved here recently and would like learn more about the people and places here. I am small and fit. I love life and traveling as well as the great outdoor. I have been described by friends both women and men that I am very cute, intelligent and fun to be around. I can be reach at *************** where I am in grad school."