Sharing my VD with the lovelies of craigslist

Happy VD! Or STD or whatever....

My retreat last weekend to my private island hideaway in Pulau Tinggi was just what the doctor ordered. Recharged my batteries and it shows. Relaxed. Even tan all over thanks to my Jan Tana Hair Remover. I'll need to hit the gym soon to be ready for the Bally Jute Mill Bodybuiding Invitational in Bangladesh later this month.

I head to Tryst this afternoon for an ISS Effervescent Creatine Orange and Strawberry Smoothie. I'm in my Carla Berhle leather pants. No shirt. I walk in the room and all the ladies are looking up from their laptops. A pregnant woman almost went into labor. I tone it down as much as I can. I give them my Front Double Biceps and Back Lat Spread combo before taking a seat at the bar. I scan the room. Hot blonde lady in a sheer white top and short black skirt. I notice she is noticing me -- muscle mass, density, ripped definition, intensity, stamina, endurance. I give her a point and wink.

Just sharing my VD with the lovelies of craigslist.

What I think about Craigslist M4W

I wrote the following haiku to woo the ladies of craigslist and it was flagged and removed. What gives?

Craigslist

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Youthful Millionaire Under 40

So maybe I am ambivalent about having kids???? (permalink).

white millionaire seeks hot chick to deposit my seed in your mouth or buttocks.. Be young and hot. No pic no reply. Naked pictures of you bent over spreading your butt-cheeks are ok if you like--they may give you the upper hand and I'm not judgmental in regards to pictures of women spreading their butt-cheeks.

Perusing this part of cl is not necessarily why you are here

Steve, you are one strange dude. (permalink).

No, this is not a repetitive post because you've yet to read it. I just wrote it. It won't be new in a day or so if you come back and reread it but it will be new to the people that haven't read it. Also, if I repost it (which I won't) it will be new to the people that haven't yet read it. Additionally, it might seem new to the people that already read it when I repost it if I repost it in, say, 2 weeks and you don't remember that you already read it. That's who I am trying to reach. People who haven't read it, people who read it and may have forgotten they read it, and people who might have been looking for a broken TV. I'll explain.

OK, so this is a relationship forum, but you really may not be looking for that at all.

Maybe you were looking for a broken TV and stumbled in here by accident and you find yourself reading these things. Maybe you were just bored at work and wanted to learn about how easy it would be to have sex with me. Or be my girlfriend. You want a boyfriend who doesn't have syphilis. I can be that guy for you. I don't have syphilis. Maybe you're just looking for a free broken TV. I can be that guy for you too. I have one that you can take off my hands if you wish.

The only question is what type of person do you want to swap bodily fluids with?

My type, course. What a silly question. I mean, you're reading this ad, so you must want to git jiggy with me naturally.


What? .... What is my type?

I told you. The type you are looking for.

What? .... What is your type?

Me!

One last thing: DO NOT DELETE OR CHANGE THE SUBJECT LINE. It is what I look for in an ocean of emails promising me that you will swoon over my size if I take this product called Megadik. Otherwise your response will be deleted unread. Also, respond in detail and comment to content, so I know you actually read this and I know I am not receiving a generic phishing reply. A naked picture of you would be nice too. Thanks.

Mr. BananaHammock

He gets letters:

"Original, I must say.

Do you talk the same way you write?

If that's the case, we would have to stick with having sex most of the time because talking could become way too confusing.

But in order to find out if I wanted to have sex with you I would have to see a picture of the "Megadik"

But then here are all the meds I'm taking....

The craziness...

I might be the one with syphilis! BTW, I collect broken TVs.

Is it still that easy to have sex with you?

J"

Dear Every Girl That Passes Me By On The Street

Just like me, another hopeless romantic, shouts out on Missed Connections...(permalink).

Blame it on the few drinks that I've had, or maybe it's because I wasn't breast fed as a baby, or that I have don't have a firm grasp on what society calls "boundaries." I keep checking this site only to be disappointed each time.

So this missed connection goes out to you darling. You're the girl who glared at me when I stared at your chest in the bookstore. Don't mistake my staring at your chest as a subtle form of trying to rip your panties off. I'm just imagining you naked, I promise, nothing more.

This connection is for the girl at the bar the other night that was angry with me because I was talking to her breasts. "Hello, my face is up here," she said. Honey, I know where your face is.

This is also for the woman last week who I helped with her groceries when she dropped them in front of me. Both of us bending over, I got a good look down your blouse, yum!

Here's looking out for a great pair... though I also appreciate a firm buttocks!

He gets letters:

"Hi,

don't get your hopes up. I'm none of the girls you just mentionned, but I couldn't help saying hello and good for you...:o).

I never understood that scene in the movie where the girl says: "hello! my face is up here".

As a rule, we (women) like to be noticed and appreciated by men, even the ones we wouldn't deign talk to.

I bet you anything that those girls were secretely pleased and checked out their boobs (with a knowing little smile) the first chance they found themselves in front of a mirror... It's what I would've done. But then, I don't have men staring down my blouse... I shouldn't complain however; they make up for it staring up my face...:)

Cheers, and good luck".

Super Premium Vanilla seeks Decadent Flavored Swirl

Nobody does a weird metaphor better than I do (permalink).

Indulge yourself in my creamy decadence. Savor the sweet without the sacrifice and enjoy it all knowing there's no sugar added! It's a situation fraught with joyosity when flavors mix and melt together and that's what I'm searching to do with you...your flavors twist and swirl around my vanilla base...caressing me with your coffee fudge, strawberry, or hazelnut swirl. Raspberry or double vanilla also ok... you know what I am about...we're both looking for a long term relationship and the passion between us finds you on top again and again.

I'm a romantic at heart... how about you? And I'm only 3 net carbs...what about you?

Lemmie Show it Off to YA

I don't understand some folks. I mean, what was he thinking? (permalink)


Hello..I am a tall SWM with big feet (! ;-))..I have pics to prove it...I love to be naked...especially outdoors...I want to get naked and touch myself sensually in front of a sexy lady...a sexy lady that appreciates a man who wants a tall SWM with big feet (! ;-))...that has the pics to prove it...to get naked and touch himself sensually in front of a sexy lady...if you are horny who knows what may happen next...I am fun and generous...I like outside nakedness...and touching myself sensually in front of a sexy lady...a sexy lady that wants a tall SWM with big feet (! ;-))...that has the pics to prove it...to get naked and touch himself sensually in front of a sexy lady ...I love ellipses...no crazies!