Let's Sue the guy that proposes suing Craigslist

He posts this tripe every single day...

Okay, I’ve posted on Craigslist in the past, and had some measure of success, if merely engaging witty repartee is the benchmark of success. But, I certainly haven’t met the love of my life here even though I’ve invested far too much time than I want to think about repeatedly reading his posts, reposts, rereposts and rerereposts ad nauseum. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but ultimately, not for me. He needs a new schtick. It’s getting on my nerves and since the fault clearly cannot lie with me (I’m not rereposting this nonsense, obviously the fault lies with him). So, like anyone who’s been wronged, I’m going to sue him. I’m looking for a sharp woman who is up for assisting me. Legal training might be useful, I don’t know what the hell I am doing.

After deep and careful reflection, I’ve decided to sue for the following:

1. $1,000 in lost wages due to reading his stuff on work-time;
2. $200,000 in future medical bills regarding my therapy for post-traumatic stress reading his posts;
3. $400 for various drinks I drink to try to forget him;
4. $2 million in emotional damages.

Write back, and we can discuss our legal strategy over a beer in some dark bar.