Perusing this part of cl is not necessarily why you are here

Steve, you are one strange dude. (permalink).

No, this is not a repetitive post because you've yet to read it. I just wrote it. It won't be new in a day or so if you come back and reread it but it will be new to the people that haven't read it. Also, if I repost it (which I won't) it will be new to the people that haven't yet read it. Additionally, it might seem new to the people that already read it when I repost it if I repost it in, say, 2 weeks and you don't remember that you already read it. That's who I am trying to reach. People who haven't read it, people who read it and may have forgotten they read it, and people who might have been looking for a broken TV. I'll explain.

OK, so this is a relationship forum, but you really may not be looking for that at all.

Maybe you were looking for a broken TV and stumbled in here by accident and you find yourself reading these things. Maybe you were just bored at work and wanted to learn about how easy it would be to have sex with me. Or be my girlfriend. You want a boyfriend who doesn't have syphilis. I can be that guy for you. I don't have syphilis. Maybe you're just looking for a free broken TV. I can be that guy for you too. I have one that you can take off my hands if you wish.

The only question is what type of person do you want to swap bodily fluids with?

My type, course. What a silly question. I mean, you're reading this ad, so you must want to git jiggy with me naturally.


What? .... What is my type?

I told you. The type you are looking for.

What? .... What is your type?

Me!

One last thing: DO NOT DELETE OR CHANGE THE SUBJECT LINE. It is what I look for in an ocean of emails promising me that you will swoon over my size if I take this product called Megadik. Otherwise your response will be deleted unread. Also, respond in detail and comment to content, so I know you actually read this and I know I am not receiving a generic phishing reply. A naked picture of you would be nice too. Thanks.

Mr. BananaHammock

He gets letters:

"Original, I must say.

Do you talk the same way you write?

If that's the case, we would have to stick with having sex most of the time because talking could become way too confusing.

But in order to find out if I wanted to have sex with you I would have to see a picture of the "Megadik"

But then here are all the meds I'm taking....

The craziness...

I might be the one with syphilis! BTW, I collect broken TVs.

Is it still that easy to have sex with you?

J"

I'd like to soil you. Or me. I can never get this one straight...

Im a 37 SWM, happy, snappy, not (sometimes) nappy but crappy, and oops, kind of sappy. I'm easy on the eyes, legs, and shoulders. It'll be easy going down on me, looking for friendship and romance is good, but I like a pulse. I wanna to soil you and you'll get the same in return!

I have lots of pictures to exchange...

White Male with amiable blackhead on chin

Genial Herpes? (permalink)

Unlike a lot of white guys, who just go around with concealer and think its funny, I 'm looking to be upfront. So let’s talk.

Taste so good make a grown man cry

I’m an enchanting, genial, dexterous, and wily single white male with brown hair and eyes and shoes. I’m 6ft 1 inch tall. I drink and smoke. I’m looking to quit smoking. No criminal record or children (that I am aware of anyway). I am writing a Toccata for the Oud and am designing toile depicting scenes from the life of Scott Stapp, former front man of Creed. My “safe” word is “OUCH!” Yes I’m a worshipper of Bael, as sort of spider-like deity with three heads, a cat head, a frog head, and then the head of a big-nosed guy with pointy ears and a crown (see below). I come from a family and I live in rough and tumble Adams Morgan, amid poets, writers, artists, junkies and NIMBYs. I have a great command of the English language and a large collection of those state quarters. The English language and those state quarters make the World go round. I have a lot to offer in a relationship (see “large collection of state quarters” above). Plus I’m completely trustworthy. I’m too lazy to cheat and a bad liar. A good catch as they say.

I’m looking for a LTR with a woman who lives near me, Adams Morgan, Dupont Circle, Woodley Park, Mt. Pleasant (see “lazy” above). Someone from one of the local neighborhoods. Seeking a woman who thin to average. If you’re into the clubbing scene and hitting the bars than I might be your guy. Age unimportant. Just be nice, funny, thin to average, democrat, middle of the roader, or independents, like clubbing or bars, live near me, attractive, maybe a glasses-girl, I like them, you also come from a family, like cherry pie, eat food I cook, like to do activities, not into boring things, like non sequiturs, like inside naked sports (premarital), maybe shout at TV at times, drunk dial, drunk emails, suntan naked, enjoy small children (since I act like one), stuff like that. Bonus if you’re into guys who a prone to ramble on incoherently.

Did you know that nematodes are the most numerous multicellular animals on earth? A handful of soil will contain thousands of them, many of which are parasites of insects, plants or animals.

Ex-Playa Who Has Matured

Two arms waiting to embrace heaven guy has a new schtick. He's no longer a player....(permalink).

Are you a young professional woman who is: thin, nice legs, wicked smat, sense of humor, etc. You are hot on the outside and hot on the inside. You’re looking for tall, brooding glasses guy who doesn't play games. I'm a former playa that's ready, willing & able to be in a healthy, happy and committed relationship! My E.Q. is now at the same level as my I.Q. We could rent “An Affair to Remember” or “Love Story.” Interested?

6'1"
170 lbs.
Single.
No bull poop.

Here’s my pic.

ONE ARM AWAITING TO EMBRACE HEAVEN !

What in god's name is his title supposed to mean, anyway (permalink)?

With my other arm I am practicing mime!!!I I'm trapped in a box! Now I'm walking against the wind!!!!! Now I'm climbing a rope ladder, though now I need both arms for this mime. About me other than my impressive mime skills? I am very passionate and love life. Being originally from Michigan, I've been known to wear flannel. I am still learning about women everyday. Did you know that women you've just met didn't like it when you groped their breasts in public? I didn't...until last night that is. Ouch! That sure hurt. Like most men, I have room for growth. Currently I am composing a toccata for the jew's harp, designing toile with scenes from the marriage of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, and I just finished a book called, "How to be an Adult in Relationships" written by this guy David Richo. I've been practicing "letting go of ego" which he recommends, and frankly, is probably a useful skill to have for a guy looking for a woman. I am 6'1" and 170 lbs of pure fella and looking for women of all age groups as long as those groups are younger than me. To be fair, you've seen mine, please show me yours!

Curves? Still looking for single thin athletic white girl with curves?

This guy from Nova seems to post essentially the same post three times or so a day. Is he fooling anyone? Dunno.

Are you a single, thin, athletic white girl with curves? If so hit me up we can chat and see where things go. Attractive guy here looking for a female with a few extra pounds on her. In the right places. No belly fat. No ass fat. No thigh fat. No cankles. Just skinny and athletic with big boobs.

Where are all the young sassy, thin athletic chicks with big boobs? Cute faces are more aesthetically pleasing, and love to have fun and just relax after a long day at work. While at work I post variations of the same ad all day long.

If this sounds like you we should chat. Attach your photo to your first reply and I will send mine back. If we click maybe we can meet and have some fun. If you are tlaking to another guy and you think it might get serious please do not reply to this ad. I’m very jealous and tlaking to other guys makes me angry. And please have personalty. That is important to me as well. Loads of personalty.