This wacky guy reposts several times a day. I guess to be on top or something.
Greetings ladies,
I’ve been playing with myself for a while now, but lately I find that I've been finding this arrangement pretty boring, and I think I'm getting pretty good at this sex thing. I find that I miss the things that having a serious relationship can give you that “dating” just doesn’t really seem to encompass. I don't want to get a dirty look from you if I burb or fart. Or making sweet sweet love on the kitchen table.
I miss those nights imagining lying on the couch with you against my chest and my arms wrapped around her. Enjoying the warmth of your body, sharing some popcorn and a movie, and enjoying the smell and feel of your hair. Maybe I'll clip off a lock and keep it in my "special memories" place along with a pair of your soiled panties and maybe some other stuff I found in your garbage. Maybe your nail clippings. Maybe there will also be lighted candles in this place along with a picture of you.
Everything else is just whatever. Perhaps I first noticed you on metro. Maybe it was the red line. Maybe I followed you home one night so I know where you live. Maybe you already have a boyfriend. Not to worry, I tell myself, there is no way you love him as much as you love me. You just don't know it yet. I know you have a nice body because I was looking in your window one night after you had taken a shower. You had just gotten back from your evening run. The moisture from the shower glistened on your perfect skin as you dried yourself. I wonder how you taste as I come in my pants.
I like hiking, camping, board games, cards, biking, and even movies. I even watch that junk on TV sometimes now. I like any kind of music pretty much. I enjoy concerts, and museums. I'm a movie junkie. I want to try trepanning, extreme sports like para-snobording, and a whole list of other things. I want to try making the perfect girlfriend out of the parts of other girls that I admire. Do you like any of this stuff? Does it matter? Never tried any of it? Well then we have tons to talk about, and a whole new list of adventures to try. Done them all and didn’t care for any of them? Well what do you do, I’m always looking for new stuff to try. You write interesting messages out of words you cut out of magazines? You into taxidermy? Well hell show me how cause that is just cool. I’m an older child. I’m into human psychology. There’s common ground between us. I can find it. I always do. I can relate to damn near any human being on this planet who’s ever had a sane, lucid moment.
Maybe I’m living in the wrong era for this, maybe I’m ahead of my age, or behind in the game, maybe I’m in the wrong city, or just looking in the wrong place, in the wrong time. Maybe I should build a space ship or found my own society on a secluded island and do genetic experiments grafting human DNA to animal DNA. Maybe I could create rat-men, and walrus-men, and giraffe-men who will do my bidding. Maybe wanting something like this makes me less of a man. Maybe it makes me like a god-man. Maybe there’s to much mad scientist and not enough hopeless realist in me. Maybe I should hide my emotions and just be another prick at the bar. Or maybe just continue to stalk you. Who knows? I’m me. I like me. Maybe you will, too.
So anyway a little more about me: I'm adventurous, love excitement, and can embrace a challenge rather than just seeing obstacles. I'm honest at all times and am not tactful when that honestly can be hurtful. If you ask me if your butt is big in those jeans I'll say, "yep" or "nope" or "wow you got a lot of junk in your trunk" or even "does that thing have its own gravity." I remember birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and things like that and try to come up with interesting things to do. Not just a e-card. Maybe an e-card and a gift certificate to Hechts.
I’m 6’0, 172 lbs 36 / brown hair/ brown eyes. I’m white and was raised by my white mom and dad so I don’t really have much of a non-white background. I can cook and I know the word for money in maybe two languages and can order beer in about 3-4 European languages. I love to travel. Oh and I tend to ramble, as if you couldn’t already tell. I’ve often been complimented on my penis on more than one occasion. They say things like, "hey, nice penis" and "I've seen bigger," and "Help! Police!" Maybe it makes me sound arrogant but I think I’m a good person on the whole.
You can come with me against your will or no
In my basement I'll talk about how I want to be your beau
I'm sure the love between us is bound to grow
I think it's called Stockholm Syndrome or something
You'll make all my dreams come true
My personal zombie I'll make of you
A chemical lobotomy I'll perform
After I bore a hole in your skull with my power drill or something.
As day fades, and darkness nears
We’ll reap the bounty that love rears
And I'll whisper softly and sweetly in your ears
But you won't respond since your a zombie or something
--- Mr. Banana Hammock
He gets letters:
"Thank you for coming back to us, you devil, you. If only you could tell that I'm the girl you've been waiting for."
Labels: creeps, dating, stalking
