Looking for woman for hot man on woman freakiness (Not a spoil and pamper ad)

Thanks, Whiskypants. I thought you were going to forward these gems (permalink) rather than horde them for your own blog ;-)

I am an educated, successful professional man--6'0/165-170, Brown hair/Brown eyes, 36, Gnostic Sex Cultist. I am looking for a cute youthful woman for a NSA sexual relationship. I would enjoy the company of a young naked woman in order to work my magic and freaky sex moves in an attempt to please her. I am not looking to spoil and pamper you in any way. Instead, I would derive extreme pleasure from entering you via the “Wheelbarrow position,” as this position would be very erotic for me as I would have a birds-eye view of your gorgeous buttocks and the pelvic freedom to thrust effortlessly. Knowing I played a part in your happiness would also make me happy. Also, you might enjoy what Cosmo calls the “Carnal Clench” because I could create loads of feel-good friction as I tantalize the depths of your pleasure zone. I am for real and ask that you be as well, and that your response be thoughtful. Thanks!"