I am more than my ample manhood

I'm not entirely sure where I pulled this one from...

I don't think that there is any denying that fetishism for Mr. Banana Hammock exists. The question is "why?" Why the Mr. Banana Hammock fetish, and not say Asian fetish in the same magnitude? The most honest response you will get from the fetishists is some variation of "I'm not sure why, I just feel this chemistry for Mr. Banana Hammock." What I think it comes down to is purely hot man on woman animalistic sensuality. At some point, females have equated Mr. Banana Hammock to raw sexual lust, which, in fetishist terminology is synonymous with "chemistry" and "exoticism."

What is to blame for the prevalence of situation where craigslist women are sexualizing Mr. Banana Hammock? Who knows? Fantasizing about Mr. Banana Hammock while firing up their Eager Beaver Wireless or Genuine Sanrio Hello Kitty vibrators for a hot night of extreme girl-on-self sexiness. Maybe, while your vibrating yourself, you dream that Mr. Banana Hammock enters your room, removes his polyester buffalo shirt, runs his fingers through his chest hair, and growls? Or maybe you imagine Mr. Banana Hammock, sans pants, doing jumping jacks or other feats of athleticism, while you, watching his ample manhood rise and fall. Rise and fall.

No doubt thoughts like those above can be hypnotizing, mesmerizing, and send most women into a frothy puddle of lust. I mean, who could blame them? Mr. Banana Hammock oozes raw animal passion and his mere presence has been known to induce spontaneous labor in pregnant women. However, Mr. Banana Hammock is much more than supreme authority on man on woman sensuality, practiced in the arts of over 5 sex moves and knowledgeable on the ancient secrets of tongue-loving on spots of high erogenousness.

Mr. Banana Hammock is also a sensitive soul. A protector of small animals and children. A smeller of flowers. A hugger of trees. A reader of books. An eater of pancakes. A greeter to the ungreeted. But none discover these truths and have difficulty experiencing Mr Banana Hammock on all of his levels.

It's no wonder when you think about it. If I were a woman, chances are I too would get flushed and tingly down below at the very thought of Mr. Banana Hammock.

He gets letters:

"Years ago I was hiking in Moab and as I was climbing up the side of a rock wall a guy was coming down, he was wearing nothing but hiking boots and a fanny pack. Was that you and if so, why did you scratch me out of the photo, it hurts my feelings. All my love."