Glove Slap!!

Or as Whiskypants put it, "I'll buy you a beer if you can take on this turkey (permalink)." I did. And I think she owes me a beer...


Ok, well I have tried this before and let's be honest, if I'm back posting, I can't take a hint.

So I'm a genuine rocker guy, who enjoys rockin' out and prefers to rock out in rockin' settings. I enjoy many other hobbies, including groovin' and chillin', but a good chunk of life is spent rockin' out.

I currently work a day job, and when I'm off, I'm rockin' hard. I do everything from teaching the fundamentals of rockin', keytar, and advanced rockin'!! My prices are reasonable.

However the big problem I have is, although I am a rockin' guy, I am not a rockstar. I have rockstar cravings, desire to have rockstar sexcapades with groupies, have groupies flashing me their goodies while I'm on stage, and partake in general licentiousness and debauchery. Instead of a soul mate, I'd prefer to have two girls working my package while I'm making out with a third, and a fourth is fetching me a fifth of Jack Daniels!

If your thinking "oh Rock boy! He must like hard rockin' rockers like Twisted Sister and Nelson," well I don't dislike hard rock, and you have to know your rock music, but I'm into what's generally called, Pop-Rock. That's basically anything from Janet Jackson to Men at Work, and it covers ALOT!!

So now onto other things that I do. I love Rock 'n' Bowl. I fancy myself a bit of gourmand. I'm a cunnilinguist, and like sampling new "dishes." I like movies, the zombie types, incestuous hillbilly soft core porn types, and serious hard core porn. I still need to see Zombie 4 and Edward Penishands. I like going out to see them and getting in on in the theater. I used to be a semi-professional volcano surfer. That was kewl. I love the outdoors, and long for a companion for drives around the inner loop, over and over. Hey, we're in Virginia. Now we're Maryland. Hey, we're in Virginia again! I like a nice round ass.

As for the rockin' guy I am, well I'm 6'1" and about 170 pounds and what would be called an average build. I have brown eyes. Very long eyelashes too, which I'm told women are envious of...hmm? I have a new 'do all the time: faux hawk, prince valiant, mullet, and the products for upkeep. Pics down below. I'm a smoker, but don't do drugs, disease free, and not a big drinker during the week.

As for the type of girl I'm after, well I'd like a non drug user like me. I don't care about your drinking habits, but if you're going to barf going down on me, I'm showin' your ass the door. Id hope you like my type of music and wanna hang out at shows. I'd prefer she be shorter than me (just can't do the tall girl thing)and body style best described as rockin' or smokin'. I like a girl that is rockin' or smokin' but has low self-esteem and is willing to share with other rockin' or smokin' women with low self-esteem (see above)!!!

Well I will be waiting to hear from you. Please include a pic. Talk to you soon!

Mr. BananaHammock