Wanted: Worldly, Sexy, Passionate, Confident, Catch - 26

Apropos of nothing, the evil Ms. Velvet encouraged me to write a W4M ad in craigslist today. Why? So I could see how the better half lived? So that I could see that they got the best of it all since they could pick and choose among literally hundreds of responses to their ads while us men got only maybe one or two responses from whomever? I demurred. I couldn't possibly write such an ad; I've only been reading M4W ads and wouldn't know how to write a girl. She says, "The beauty isn't in the ad. It's in the responses. You have to abandon your old way of thinking." I abandoned my old way of thinking and came up with this, something that would probably attract everyone -- thin, curves in the right places, not out for a guy's money, sexual (note the winky emoticon about anything athletic....

Hi:

Ideally I'd love to meet a man who is outgoing, confident, well traveled, not married, not a big drunk, smart, sexy, athletic or skinny (but not skinnier than me), and fun. I just got out of a painful relationship and I am not looking for anything too serious. Please be 6’0” or taller.

I have my own money and I don’t need yours. I am a blond, tall, thin female with curves in the right places. I love the arts, the bar scene, and anything athletic ;-).

I wasn't prepared for what followed. It wasn't so much the myriad responses from guys that referred to me as "baby," "understood my pain," "shared similar interests" (even though I don't think I indicated any), or the perverts that wanted to know about my shoe preference or whether or not I owned silk in my closet, the multitude of horrible photos (thankfully no dick-pics). What I wasn't prepared for were the comments that I made to Velvet after all of the replys started pouring into my mailbox. So these are some of my "on-the-spot reactions":

"I mean 1/2 don't meet my height requirements, and my first responder
was obviously canned. He starts out with "excuse me if my response
sounds disjointed because I just wrote this so here goes...." then followed with 12 long paragraphs. Another canned responder didn't even bother to fake it [he just cut/paste so that the >'s were visible.

Then there was...Don't get me started on the perverts and those that can feel my pain of just being out of a long relationship.

And of course...And if another guy calls me "sweetie" I'm going to lose it. I'm not a child, I'm a grown wom--er an adult!!

I closed it, more or less, with my favorite so far! He's mine so don't get any ideas. I'm really not gay...

So, basically for me NO=MAYBE=YES.

And hopefully, Velvet, the world will not implode upon itself.

Yours in Science,

Mr. BananaHammock