Oily Massage Fraught With Sensuosity, Devoid of Strings

Last year there were a plethora of offers to perform sensuous massage that seemed to stop until very recently when this fine fellow (permalink) and repeat poster started reposting the same ad multiple times a day with the same mispellings and typos. Sad. Though I admire his confidence, I more than make up for it with my awkwardness. Is there someone out there who might want me to touch them with my oily hands? Anyone?

Are you attractive? Athletic? Fit? Lonely? I can help you feel good. I am an attractive and PROFESSIONAL male with HANDS and am quite good at what I do, which is marketing and communications. That being said, I don’t know the first thing about massage. The experience is likely to be weird and unfulfilling, perhaps even painful. I am available after work.

I can focus on your sacred spaces or just your butt or legs or something. If you want something massaged or touched...just say something like, “Hey, Mr. Banana Hammock. Rub my boobies.” And I'll rub your boobies. It's just that easy. I am a very open person and feel communication is important regarding anything in life, especially if you want something rubbed or touched in a certain way. I have different kinds of oil, candles, and various relaxing CDs like “Thunderstorm in the Wilderness,” “Ocean Surf: Timeless and Sublime,” and “Song of the Humpback” which I purchased from Serenitysupply.com. I can try to help you release all the stress stored in your body so that you feel rejuvenated and cleansed in a complete way, but you’ll probably feel shame and want to leave as soon as possible. And I can try to cultivate this release in a way that enables you to feel whole and valued. I will probably fail at this though as well.

No one has yet to take me up on this offer. While I foresee that I will probably be picky about who I do this with and expect well over 100 women will respond to this ad, I will probably only pick just one or two. They will undoubtedly be hot and youngish with banging bodies bodies. I am very clean and am very respectful of your boundaries. I am very gentle and nurturing but sort of manly. Like a kind-of Val Kilmer from nose to chin. Maybe a gentle and nurturing Lt. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski if I wore a blindfold and was in better shape. And sometimes I shriek like a little girl if I find something “icky.” I suspect that the massage will be at least one hour in duration with oils, candles, and the New Agey music described above.

I am a guy who just enjoys boobies. I am 6ft and white and sort of built like a marshmallow on stilts. And I have hands. If you are interested, send me an email. I would be happy to hear from you. Please do not be shy if you are younger or smaller. Please, please be shy if you are old and fat. As long as you are an adult. And have boobies.