Erotic Massage Replete With Sensuosity

Shout out to all of those craigslisters willing to give anonymous women free erotic massages...

I am an attractive and PROFESSIONAL male with HANDS and am quite good at what I do, which is economic policy work. That being said, I don’t know the first thing about massage. The experience is likely to be painful, weird, and unfulfilling. I am available after work.

Perhaps your boobies and your butt and? Did I say boobies? If not, maybe they need more attention. Maybe even the tube where the penis goes does also. I can try to help you release all the stress stored in your body so that you feel rejuvenated and cleansed in a complete way, but you’ll probably feel shame and want to leave as soon as possible. And I can try to cultivate this release in a way that enables you to feel whole and valued. I will probably fail at this though as well.

I am very clean and am very respectful of your boundaries. I am very gentle and nurturing but sort of manly. Like a kind-of Val Kilmer from nose to chin. Maybe a gentle and nurturing Lt. Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski if I wore a blindfold and was in better shape. And sometimes I scream like a little girl. While I would never want to have any sexual contact with my professional colleagues, except for a couple interns in the office, I am sure that you can imagine that from time to time I might like to have a consenting woman receive a free erotic massage. I like boobies. If you are interested, send me an email. I would be happy to hear from you. Please do not be shy if you are younger or smaller. Please, please be shy if you are old and fat. As long as you are an adult. And have boobies.