Mr. BananaHammock, looking for love, cover letter style*

My second cover letter craigslist vanity post. All I can say is that there is no shortage of bad cover letter writers in the metro DC area...

Your open position is an excellent match to my credentials, as I believe I have the skills, knowledge and background to effectively fill the position. Not only does my previous experience make me a shoe-in for this position, but I have passion, initiative, and ambition that would make me a worthy investment for you. I have a pleasant and positive personality and most importantly, I am a team-player. I exhibit professional and courteous behavior. I am highly competent in utilizing various automated systems and software programs to include Microsoft Office. I am also a very fast learner who loves a challenge, and one that will show you exceptional work.

Working with numbers for a long time is not mentally challenging as to using tactic in different areas is the challenge I seek. I am extremely efficient in making decisions, resolving conflicts, and developing relationships. I am always eager to learn new things and always extended myself beyond the basic requirements; therefore, I am committed to striving for excellence through diligence and careful attention to detail.

My core competencies include computer literacy, legal terminology, document control, quality assurance and client satisfaction. I am familiar with modern grammar rules, spelling, usage, and copy editing marks. I possess excellent time-management skills and have demonstrated goal-driven ability to motivate others with creative initiative and extreme attention to detail. I am able to operate motor vehicles and have a valid DC drivers license.

References available upon request.

*This ad is comprised solely of exact excerpts from resume cover letters sent to Mr. BananaHammock. Hopefully it will do more for Mr. Banana Hammock than it has done for them.