If you aren't very picky, look here :)

If you are very picky, look here [permalink]. If you are not very picky, look below...

Not sure where to start but I guess when you first meet someone, you first notice the physical so here it is:

36 yrs old, 6'0, 168lbs, naked, soft, white with white skin, underneath my skin I'm all pink and wet (guess we all are), dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, cheek bones, chink, sometimes wear glasses. I love leisure suits, and great flannel shirt and jean combinations so this is how you will find me generally but after work I like to put on t-shirts and sweat pants which goes well with my simulated black leather couch. You will never see me in ass-less chaps however, why spend more then $200 on an article of clothing when your ass is hanging out. Btw, if you want to wear ass-less chaps, go ahead, but please have a nice ass.

After talking to me a little you would find out that I am immature, clueless about women, exhibit no social graces, and that I repeatedly touch myself inappropriately in public. You'll wonder to yourself, “what is that smell?” You will also find that I am pretty much the average guy who posts on craig's list, angry when I don't get my way, a misogynist, emotionally fragile and can make conversation with just about anybody from PhDs on to biker dudes as long as the conversation is about me, my job, or your breasts, however, I never use the word "breasts" in conversation. I use “titties,” “boobies,” or “funbags.” I also have a slightly self-destructive wild side, which you'll probably surmise after my fifth shot of Jägermeister.

By the end of our conversation you will also find out that I don't own, but actually rent, my Adams Morgan compound, that some of my neighbors are kinda creepy, that some of my friends are kind of creepy, that I like to watch movies with lots of nudity (which is probably why I want to talk about your “breasts”), have had a number of longterm unhealthy relationships with commitment-phobes (which I suppose is how I deal with my own commitment issues), and that while I wouldn't mind a long-term relationship, I won't hold it against you if you sleep with me on the first date. And by “sleep” I mean “sex.”

I am a metrosexual in the way that Adam Carolla or Jimmy Kimmel are metrosexual, but I'll watch some chick flick with you if I think I might score with you.

So what I am looking is someone around my age or a bit younger who has commitment issues, doesn't mind a guy who whines from time to time about whatever, like boobies (smaller the better), thinks good etiquette is something for the Emily Post generation. While I could stand to work out more than I do, but since I am a guy, I would expect you to be healthy and in shape, look like a supermodel, and love sex all the time. Smart also helps.

And by the way, I am no longer psycho-friendly...