I'm still looking for a woman who can drive my stick

I love these laundry list romances (perm link)...

I'm a 6’1” tall, 168 lb. SWPM with brown eyes and hair looking for a SWPF.

In addition to being able to handle my manual transmission (double entendre totally intended), here are my “user requirements” for any potential girlfriend candidates out there...

A charm school graduate. Bonus points if you’re actually using it.
An I.Q. Around 169+.
Knowing the difference between hirsute and her suit.
Knowing the difference between bear, bare, and barre.
Knowing the difference between sebaceous, sagacious, and salacious.
An appreciation of me.
Thin and attractive. I’m looking for a supermodel or someone who’s anorexic.
Not hung up on political correctness.
No children.
Drug and disease free.
Worship of me would be helpful.
Look good in a pair of jeans, just thinking you do doesn't cut it.
Low maintenance; I'm lazy.
An interest in the dark arts (I’m into witchcraft, alchemy, and marketing; one of them I do professionally, and the others are more of a hobby).

All other traits are debatable, and will be considered on an individual basis.

My picture below is a few years old, and, judging by my expression, was taken right before I pooped myself. Despite the fact that I am not wearing my glasses in it, I pretty much look the same today. A picture is not required at present, but would be nice to have in the future, and I’m not averse to the idea you painting a picture of yourself with words. So get writing!

He gets letters:

[From original poster]"You are a jackass. Come up with your own ad, instead of plagarizing someone else's, you douche bag! Oh wait, you said you're in marketing... I guess all that you know how to do is plagarize. Jerk."

"Loved the parody thread. Especially the part where you described your pic."