Make Your Girlfriends Replete With Jealousity

 
I think I'd make a much more interesting date than the guy who deleted his post. Really. I do.

Make Your Girlfriends Replete With Jealousity

Deep breath, here goes: I’m a guy. I eat food. I model blue jeans. My friends would say I’m retrosexual. I don’t think so, but I do have a kick-ass lime green polyester leisure suit. I mean…is there something wrong with that?

I’m unbound from societal norms and many of the laws of physics don’t apply to me. I hunt and gather. I wrote many of Neil Diamond’s biggest hits. I was nominated for the Nobel prize in “getting funky,” but turned it down because I thought it would damage my street creds. It’s a gift, really. I’m looking to meet someone cool and fun and spunky to share good times and bad.

What will we do together? Well, we’ll make Spanakopitas in my state of the art kitchen. We’ll reenact scenes from “The Opening of Misty Beethoven” in public restrooms. We’ll open gmail accounts and gmail each other. It so never gets old.

I’m looking to meet a girl next door. I’m lazy that way. I’m a real good listener, especially if you’re not wearing a shirt.

I have a graduate degree although I spend way too much time downloading barely legal porn. I know how to use basic HTML. I can make powerpoint presentations with really cool animations and transitions like “Wheel Clockwise, 8 Spokes.” And if you’re not wearing a shirt, I can completely lose track of time (although I’m definitely listening). Honest.

I’m looking for someone who’s nice and kind and looks good not wearing a shirt. Are you next door? If so what floor! I don’t have binoculars. I don’t. Really.

Please no millionaires, movie stars or vegans. I’m so over that. Let me hear from you!

He gets letters:

"I just have to point out it was really fun reading your post backward... I mean by paragraph, not by letter."

"I just wanted to tell you that your Craig's List ad was hysterical. It made me laugh on an otherwise dreary day"

"do you still model?"