*cliché goes where?*

This guy is a serial poster and poor one at that. Oh, and he doesn't want to date wookies.

I am way different from everyone on here, including you. I'm not a she-male, furry, or into coprophagia. I don't have 9 kids. I don’t have 8 kids. I don't look like a wookie, Jar Jar Binks, Ted Nugent or Tele Savalas. I didn't just get promoted from burger flipper to fry manager. I don’t create pubic hair topiary for a living (although I took a class). I’m not a longshoreman. Nor am I a 27 year old man who just discovered the internet and Viagra.TM Who knows?

I'm not going to spend too much time talking about myself but I'm good looking work out, funny, adventurous, cool, and smart. Rarely am I found in front of a computer unless I am at work, or I am searching for information about the DMV or barely legal porn. I read many blogs. I am proficient in five sexual positions: me on top, you on top, me from behind, 69, and my favorite, sitting face-to-face. I like small children and dogs. I cook AND eat. I work to play. I am currently hung over and wishing I was not at work. I am currently listening to Rilo Kiley. My sister has been married to three different guys all named Jason (I guess that really doesn’t have anything to do with me though). I haven’t had sex in ages, but I have been practicing. A LOT. I have a 401K and a space alien figurine. I collect business cards and I practice voodoo. I have a problem with authority and have a button to prove it. It says, “has a problem with authority.”

So unless you are looking for a career at McDonalds, you don’t want me to fashion your pubic hair into the shape of a lion or monkey or something, you think that the 27 year old guy is clever, or Tele Savalas or Jar Jar Binks is REALLY hot, I'm not the guy for you.

Talk to you soon, and please reply with a picture, I have plenty. I'm not TOOOO worried about looks, but I'm not looking to date a yeti, the Russian mafia, sea turtles, a sack of potato chips, Ann Coulter, characters from Star Wars, a bar of soap, too fat chicks, too skinny chicks, other men, or any of my ex-girlfriends. There needs to be attraction!

And for making it through this email, here is a picture of me giving props to a kitten.