Are Every Woman On Internets Fat???

Here's a cause I can get behind. No fat chicks! (permalink) He missed a few euphemisms for fat though...

Are every single woman on internets fat? I don’t mean to sound like a total superficial jerk here, but I think every woman on internets is fat. I posted an ad last week and received about a dozen responses. All fat. Although, in my ad, my criteria was very specific and did not include fat women. It said “no fat chicks” at one point and at another point said “please no fattie fattie fat fats.”

I am looking for a woman who is single, and not fat. You don’t have to be wafer thin, just don’t be fat. That means – not fat, bbw, plump, chubby, stout, portly, obese, heavy, large, big, corpulent, cuddly, overweight, chunky, hefty, sizeable, fleshy, rotund, podgy, enormous, lard-assed, a few extra pounds, thick, Rubenesque, athletic, in shape, average, great personality, cute, pretty, attractive, outspoken, passionate, fun-loving, tall, sexy, sweetheart, artsy, sassy, intelligent, drama-free, self-assured, sensual, exotic, witty, sarcastic, unique, laughs easily, funny, smart, into Sci-Fi, or whatever excuse you want to use. God, just don’t be fat. Is that too much to ask?