I'm THE Guy
He's this guy (permalink). I'm the other guy...
I'm the guy who approaches you in a crowded bar and the raw animalistic sexuality that I ooze is unescapable, much like gravity in a black hole.
I'm the guy who looking at your breasts while talking to you, my head bobbing up and down, thinking about how nicely my face is going to fit in between them later.
I'm the guy who, while your not looking, slips a rohypnol in your chocolatini and when your sufficiently out of it, I bring you back to my Adams Morgan Compound.
I'm the guy who, back at my place having sex with you from behind, I try to stick my dick in your ass and claim that I just “slipped” when you protest.
I'm the guy who of course lied about just “slipping.”
I'm the guy who be happy nailing your hot best friend...or both of you at the same time.
I'm the guy who has no problem telling you that your butt looks big in those jeans..
I'm the guy who'll whine when I don't get my way.
I'm the guy who is 36 years old.
I'm the guy who is 6 feet tall, 168 lbs.
I'm the guy who has brown hair and eyes.
I'm the guy who is looking for a SWF, 25-35 who might be looking to get laid.
He gets letters:
"How rich! I've been following you, Mr. Banana Hammock, for a while now and you always make me laugh. While I will never let you accidently on purpose slip it in the backdoor (one must always knock first and politely at that), I did feel compelled to finally write after seeing how irate the originally poster was. Clearly, if I know you, I've been trolling the M4W section on CL for a while but this exchange made me almost snort out my cocktail. Poor guy. He doesn't have a clue. If you ever need photoshopping assistance, just let me know. I'm no expert but I'm pretty handy in a pinch. And it appears that you have no shame...so you make a perfect subject!"
"Hey I am actually responding to ur ad for a friend of mine, she is a sweet girl, 19 very NICE ass (think Jennifer Lopez) very much in shape physically, I think ur approach to women could be good for her, would u be intereasted?"
"Funny shit, given my original post. Let me know if you get any responses." original poster
He gets cl M4W response:
"Thanks for ripping off my post. We'll see who gets more responses." original poster
Labels: bar scene, ruffies, sophistimication
posted by Champion Hand Washer at 6:15 PM
8 Comments:
You're the guy who's DC Bachelor.
I hate that "oops, I slipped" routine. Please. I'm getting a tattoo on my ass: "EXIT ONLY."
8:40 PM
That's a great shirt and all, but we need to get you something freshly eurotrashy.
I've never had a problem with a guy "slipping." Thank the gods.
10:15 PM
Being definitely not gay, I've never experienced that problem on the reciever end. Always, I'd prefer it if you got a tatoo on your ass that read "Open 24 Hours. Free Parking in Rear."
Am I still chanelling DC Bachelor?
11:11 PM
I looooove conversations with my breasts. And the accidental slipping routine. And the nailing of my hot best friend, but why limit it to one? I've got a lot of hot friends. Take them all!
8:05 AM
Awww, Kristin, are you talking about me, Kayla and Danielle? How sweet. You're hot too baby!
AW - I know where we can get that ass-tattoo...
Handwasher - you're going to get yourself killed.
9:38 AM
We're all fucking hot.
Maybe the ass tattoo was a bit ambitious, but I am still in the market for a henna tattoo around my belly button: "You must be this tall to ride."
11:19 AM
gack! well, at least he can spell. unlike this fool I found when I was whoring around cl.
looking to warship lady with my tougue
he's klingon? russian?
2:51 PM
Killed? No. Beat up severly? May'haps I will.
9:26 PM
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