Unbind Me

I just don't know what to say about this guy, except for "for the love of god, please learn correct punctuation" (permalink).

Hi there! I'm an easy going, laid back, outgoing, and sometimes even spontaneous. I like to eat food. I recognize the importance of water in keeping hydrated. I travel to nice places, dance the YMCA, and exude a pleasant odor (though I cannot say the same thing about my apartment). Near perfect strangers tell me personal things about their vaginas. I guess that means I am easy to talk to or something. I have a passion for sex and I can measure my penis in inches ( 3 in all ).

I am currently single, but a little tied up at the moment. I am looking for someone to unbind me before I die of thirst. Help?