DC Conservatives Spoil Max Thrust's "Wow" Moment

Earlier today I was at the Grooming Lounge. Ultimate facial including lymphatic drainage, a collagen mask, an eye treatment and a hot/cold facial massage. Brazilian wax for my upcoming trip to Cabo. Age defying exfoliation for my feet. I’m Max Thrust. Lobbyist for the Free Speech Coalition.

I’m feeling good about myself. It’s casual Tuesday for me again so I’m wearing my Jasper Conrad pants, jacket, and tie ($855, $332, and $138 respectively); my shirt is Lorenzini ($275), and my shoes and pocket square are by Salvatore Ferragamo ($725 and $70). My Jasper Conrad pants are down around my ankles and I’ve got our blonde intern from California bent over my mahogany desk. I’m smoking a Ramon Allones Tubo while I’m giving her dictation.

I’m swirling my penis inside of her 20-yr old vagina from behind as we are putting together a memo on the S. 49, the Barely Legal Protection Act. I believe I’d mentioned something about this Senate gambit that will talk money out of the pockets of my clients in the San Fernando Valley, and by extension me, as well as those young women coming out West to become famous actresses.

For some reason or another, the Senate hopes to prevent the offering of dirty pictures where the model or actress appears to be younger than she's supposed to be and thus making men's blood boil in extreme dirtiness. Just as I am having my “wow” moment, I start thinking, “when did DC become so conservative?”