Max Thrust, Self-Righteously Indignant

Max Thrust, Self-Righteously Indignant

Anyway, another day, another $15,000, as we say in the biz. The weather was nice yesterday, but I’m really looking forward to the warmer weather, when the clothes come off and you can tell the hotties from the fatties. I can tell you from personal experience that there is nothing worse than picking up a college co-ed down at Tom Tom, getting her in the bathroom, and finding out she’s more than what you bargained for. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but at my salary, I can afford better. I’ve also got standards. I’m not going to swirl my penis around in just anyone’s vagina. But I won’t stop you from going down on me.

I rolled into the office at about 11 AM for a conference call strategy session with the majors of the adult film industry in order to discuss our reaction to S. 49, the Barely Legal Protection Act. Like this for example:

REGULATIONS—Not later than 180 days after the date of enactment of the Barely Legal Protection Act, the Commission shall promulgate regulations to require a video service to prevent the offering of dirty pictures where the model or actress appears to be younger than she's supposed to be and thus making men's blood boil in extreme dirtiness, as such terms are defined in section 254 yada yada.

What gives? The consensus is that Congress is looking to ban barely legal porn. The industry keeps up-to-date information on the models and actresses, including all the stuff on their fake ids. Fresh, young woman takes the bus to Hollywood, looking to break into acting, and they want to take the food out of her mouth. Disgusting.

This makes me so mad, the only way I can relax is if I can swirl my penis around in somebody’s vagina. My blackberry is on. Any takers?