Meet Max Thrust

I'm working on a new character. Meet Max. Max Thrust...

My suit? Luigi Borrelli Napoli ($3800). My Shirt? Lorenzini ($295). Tie? Massimo Bizzochi ($195). Pocket square? Ermenegildo Zegna ($70). I'm sitting in front of a half consumed Bombay Saffire and tonic and a Colossal Lump Crabmeat Cocktail. It's 1:30 and I just had lunch at the Palm. I'm Max. Max Thrust. I'm a lobbyist for the Free Speech Coalition.

My lunch companion was a mellow opponent known affectionatetly among his intimates and colleagues on the hill as "The Saint." I know I didn't win him over with any of my slick repartee, but perhaps just maybe I pushed him onto the fence with regard to changing the 2257 Regulations. How were we supposed to know that his sixteen year-old daughter wasn't legal? She sure looked legal to me in that wet t-shirt contest in Cabo that was filmed by "Wild Girls of Spring Break." Let me put it this way, she sure looked like she knew wat she was doing. Especially later at the hotel room. Shit. And the Saint thinks she was in Alabama doing a stint for Habitat for Humanity. This could get ugly fast.

Not wanting to go back to work right away, I head up to the bar and sit next to an attractive blonde. I size her up. Shes wearing a $600 Jovovich-Hawk and a pair of $500 Barbara Bui sandals.

I know women. Women like honesty. Especially in DC. I introduce myself. Max meet Regina. Regina St. Germaine. I offer to buy her a drink. A cosmopolitan. She accepts. I offer my services. "Regina, I want to put my penis in your vagina. I want to put it in your vagina and swirl it around," I say. She accepts. She says, "ok lets go back to your place so you can swirl your penis around in my vagina."

"There's no time. I have to get back to work. How about I swirl my penis around in your vagina in the bathroom?"

She says, "Sure." Enthusiastically.

As I limp back to the office, I'm sucking on a mint and picking pubic hair and crabmeat from between my teeth and thinking about my next conquest. Could it be you?


He gets letters:

"Gimmie a break!!!"

"Are you back? Max Thrust is a little more (ahem) forward than Mr. Banana."