Dressing room sex?

Response to a rather sordid tale of dressing room sex...

Dear Penthouse:

I never believed your letters until it happened to me. I work in retail at a well known clothing store when one day a rather impatient boyfriend was waiting on his girlfriend trying on armfuls of clothing. It was rather annoying since my employer makes me refold the garments a special way, and well, let’s just say it is a big pain in the ass. Anyway, like, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the older married guy had it. OMG he was carrying his wife’s purse!

Anyway, I’m folding this bitch’s clothes she DOESN’T want. Like almost all of them. While I’m doing this I see the boyfriend go into the ladies dressing room and I’m thinking, WTF. So I go over there and knock on the door and stick my head in. I’m like “Hi! I just wanted to make sure you were alright!” They kinda step away from each other as good as they can since the room’s pretty small.

So like he nodded and she smiled back, “Oh, everything’s fine…just wanted his opinion on this dress…be out in a minute!” And I’m like, “OK!” and I shut the door.

Then I hear giggles and sucking noises and I’m like, OMG, they’re DOIN’ IT in there. Yuck. Then I hear her. She’s like, “Oh…my god…” muttering slowly and quietly between deep breaths, “Uhn that…feels g –” And then before long there’s this banging sound on the dressing room walls. I’m thinking maybe I should call security.

Finally they come out and try to leave the dress, but I insisted that they buy it since it was all wet from her and had spots that had to be pre-cum. I barely wanted to touch the thing. Then I ask then if they were interested in anything else and the guys like, “next time, join us.” And I’m thinking like, “No fucking way. You’re both way skanky.”

Signed...

He gets letters:

"That has to be the funniest story I've heard in a long time....you're awesome!!!"

"That you, big boy?"

"You are hilarious. I've been reading your posts daily. And in my book, a witty, hilarious guy is a hot guy :)"