Tired of the metrosexuals and new age milquetoasts?

Recurring character...

So I'm sitting here in the office having my lunch of Complete Creatine Effervescent Power mixed in Vodka as I pound out this missive on my keyboard. Me? I'm wearing my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt. A heavy gold chain with a medallion of a Buddha Vitarka Mudra flanked by a couple of Bodhisattvas is bouncing off my rock hard pecs as I type. I'll be posing and flexing for the ladies in the cubicles after my afternoon workout. Hopefully I’ll have time to slather on some Pro Tan Muscle Juice Pro Posing Oil beforehand. “The Juice” helps show off my true muscle definition without creating blind spots like baby oil does.

Why this ad? I can't leave the exploration of hot man on woman sensuality to the metrosexuals and New Age milquetoasts who frequent this message board. How could they possibly match the intensity of my love-making? Can you? You'll probably want to bring a Mr. Sharpie because you’ll want me to sign your breasts afterward.

Working out. Looking good. Superior punctuation and diction. That's what I'm about.



He gets letters:

"I have read a few of your posts. You are an absolute riot at best - and at a minimum a chuckle. Keep posting."

"Yeah....jesus. You crack me up. Keep on man."

"Thank GOD your lats are back and the Beherle pants! You are obviusly not Omari, but I confess I've missed your bannana hammock."