Reflections on the female uterus by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)

More fun with Omari...

Over email this morning some of my friends and I were contemplating the nuanced differences between desire and passion. That perhaps desire is about craving, possessing something, or maybe just borrowing it for personal use. That it is about expectations. And passion is perhaps about celebrating something, using your senses to really relish and experience it. It can be about an idea, a person, a place, or something of that nature. I wasn’t really into the conversation. Being somewhat familiar with female anatomy, this morning I was rather thinking deeply about the female uterus.

The cradle of life, the female uterus is prone so several diseases, including Endometrial Polyps, Endometriosis, Fibroid Tumors, Uterine Prolapse, and Chronic Pelvic Pain. Chronic Pelvic Pain intrigues me. Some think that it can be cured by doing your kegel exercises on a regular basis. The causes can be varied. I happened to google kegel and found that there is something on the market that claims that there has NEVER been anything to make doing kegels truly effective like the patented, 510(k) FDA medically cleared Kegelmaster™. It apparently has 15 levels of adjustable resistance. It comes in lavendar. I don’t know if it comes in different colors. The website claims that the Kegelmaster™ was inspired by companies such as Nautilus™, utilizes the state-of-the-art exercise principles of progressive resistance to tone, strengthen, and bulk-up this hidden but vital muscle. I used to use Nautilus™ machines in high school and my generalist said that I had the best set of stomach muscles she’d ever seen on a 16 year old kid. That admission on her part kind of creeped me out, perhaps in the same way a gynecologist, if I had one, would creep me out if he was complimenting me on the strength of my kegels.

Another thing had occurred to me as well. I have often heard that some women say that babies or pictures of babies make their uterus ache. A blogger named Scarlett, located in Bahrain says that talk of babies, pictures of babies, and babies makes her uterus ache. And curiously enough, the same had also been said about Pearly Sweets of Baby Teeth who happen to at least at some point shared recording labels with DC’s own Ted Leo. The Chicago Reader wrote that “Pearly [Sweet's] croons, snarls and drawls with a sleazy quiver that's so foxy it makes my uterus ache.” I trust that this was written by a woman.

My point being this...um, er...I forget. Any help?



He gets letters:

"We should meet for drinks right away and discuss these reflections."