“Serving and Obeying Talk” by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)

Omari has returned with his thoughts on sports. I respond with my thoughts on some guy who wants you to serve and obey him. Eek.

When it comes to keeping track of happenings in the curious world of craigslist, I am hopeless. I do take a passing interest in the business of these M4W ads--for example, I am not much of a dom type person, but find the professional man looking to explore synergies with a woman who wants to be tied up, exposed in public, and wear a collar somewhat erotic and I suppose there are women out there that might want to do such things. None that I know, but perhaps we don’t run in same circles.

That's not because I don't like to engage in erotic play from time to time. To the contrary: sometimes woman on top is one of my favorite positions. Pretty wild, huh? If you’re the right size I’d be happy to take you on my kitchen table or carry you around my apartment and let gravity take its course.. Maybe I’m a space explorer and you are a Vulcan, like a girl Spock, and need to unleash your emotions with my version of raw and animalistic man on woman sensuality. Who knows? Or even sit you in my lap and bounce you up and down like you’re riding a horse. Girls like horses.

My younger sister had a horse when she was little. It was called “Chicken George.” She really loved that horse. This was, of course, before she got married and had kids. She’s recently out of her third marriage. His name was Jason. In fact, all three shared the same first name: Jason. I was thankful in a sense because I didn’t have to learn a lot of new names. Just Jason I, Jason II, Jason III, etc. Kind of like the Friday the 13th film series, but slightly less gory.

What I did find somewhat gory about the “you will obey me” guy was the whole ass rape and deep throat gag thing. It doesn’t seem very respectful to your partner. And I think it is good to respect your partner’s boundaries. It’s healthy, normal, and good psychologically (at least for me anyway). I’ve also read somewhere that coitus is good lots of other things also. Regular male release is supposed to be good for the prostate gland. And who wants to end up with cancer? Not me. Additionally, it is also good for weight loss. At the healthy weight forum, I calculated that 90 minutes of vigorous sex at my body weight burns 186.84 calories. That is more than 2 Miller Lites and burns a few more calories than talking on the phone for the same amount of time.

I’m not much of a phone talker. I’m not sure I’ve even spent 90 minutes on the phone in one sitting, but I have cooked for that long before. Cooking for that amount of time burns about 111 calories, but it is not a zero sum enterprise. I like to cook with real butter and cream, but not in the summer. In the summer I like lighter fare.

Where does that leave us? I’m not sure. Is it lunch yet?



He gets letters:

"...I'm 15 years your junior and I amn't single. But, looking through postings on craigslist, I just couldn't resist telling you that you're made of excellent. Don't ask me why I a) look through postings on cg or 2) compliment strangers on whom I have no romantic designs. I just do."