Mr. BH honors the good work that Columbus did

I find myself having the day off. My superb memo went through regarding observing the Columbus Day holiday and the good work that Columbus did to bringing western culture and values to the native populations of this new world. Relaxing and reading the paper I take a sip of my glass of breakfast wine, naked and air drying, I take my morning supplement, Pump Tech™, which I can report has led to even better pumps, jacked up my Nitric Oxide levels, increased my vascular response, and has my muscles blown up like balloons.

I decide to figure out what to do with my day. Chilly morning, I slip commando-style into my Carla Behrle leather pants. Blue Armani flannel shirt with the arms pre-ripped off to accommodate my gigantic biceps. The shirt fits like a glove, taught across my ripped pecs. Armani has designed a series of flannel shirts with the arms pre-ripped off for yours truly and others who appreciate a good pump. I have modeled them on runways from Bethesda to Silver Spring to Rockville, in part out of gratitude to Armani for thinking of yours truly, and in part as a cross promotional opportunity for MuscleTech® supplements, such as CELL-TECH™ and ACETABOLAN III® since high government officials in Maryland are interested in importing my image and style. I put on my brown framed Jean LaFont frames with orange tinted lenses (to better stalk my prey), and head out of my Adams Morgan Compound.

I figure I'll stop off at Tryst for a half-caf-frap-mocha-something-or-another and entertain the waiting ladies with a series of poses: Front Double Biceps, Front Lat Spread, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps, and Back Lat Spread. My specially designed Armani flannel has just enough give and survives to poses. I wink with a double point with a trigger finger to a few swooning lovelies before walking back to my Adams Morgan compound.

Me you ask? High fashion. Total fitness and power. Product endorsement. Superior posing. Honoring dead guys with a day off. Dignity. That is what I am about. And if you think you can handle the sublime beauty and hyper-erotic nature of my version of man on woman sensuality, you know where to get in touch.

He gets letters:

"Not so much fun to read without your cute face at the bottom, Monsieur."