Mr. Banana Hammock Cares about the less fortunate

Chilly morning. After a hot shower and air dry I enjoy a double-cap-frap-half-caf-mocha-PowerBar and Heavy Weight Gainer 900. I slip into my Carla Behrle leather pants. Flannel shirt. The sleeves are ripped off at the shoulder to accommodate my gigantic biceps. What material remains is stretched thin and taught over my rock hard pecs. I take off for my morning commute from Farragut West to Dunn Loring.

The train is crowded this morning as I fumble with my briefing materials from my meeting with high officials in Maryland and this weeks issue of the "New Yorker" that I have been trying to finish for sometime now. I can’t help but notice one of the loveliest lovelies that I’ve encountered in a long time during my morning commute. I do my best to flex point and wink with a trigger finger but metro is very crowded. You? Pixie cut, creamy skin, and green velvet jacket, USAID ID, and funky shoes. I approve of the good work you do around the world for the people whose bodies are less developed than my own. If you want to experience my version of man on woman sensuality, please let me know. Me? Admiring you, my head bobbing in rhythm to music that only I can hear. Anyway, she gets off at Rosslyn and I don't get off at at all.

Before hitting the office, I hit the gym. Slip out of my Carla Behrle leather pants and flannel shirt and into my lime green banana hammock, apply some bikini bite, and get started. Preacher Reverse Curl, Seated Concentration Curl, Crossover Chest Fly, Pullover Crunch. Done, I hit the shower. I air dry. My body glistens as I practice my posedowns in the mirror -- total fitness and power, muscle mass, ripped definition, stamina, intensity, mental focus is what I see. It is what you would see too if you were in here with me.

Me you ask yourself? Total fitness and power. Looking good in a shirt. Admiring lovelies on the Orange line. Caring about those in the Third World whose bodies are less developed than my own. That is what I am about. And if you want to experience the raw and animalist man on woman sensuality that only I can provide (especially if you’re the lovely in the green velvet jacket), drop me a line.