Men want to be him. Their women want to be with him.

Men want to be him. Their women want to be with him. This rare specimen, knowledgeable in life and man on woman sensuality, decided he needed a change of pace. This weekend he decided to head down to the Diner for pancakes and sea turtle eggs. Side of panda bacon. He’s in his Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt. Brown frame Jean Lafont glasses with orange tinted lenses to better scope out his prey. He steps into the restaurant and sits at the counter. He’s finishing the Washington Post Sunday crossword puzzle, naturally, being the head of a multinational conglomerate he is smart. A lovely he has never seen before in and around Washington, DC steps around 11:30 AM. She is reading an “Express” from last week. He wonders why anybody reads that garbage. He gives her a Front Double Biceps and Front Lat Spread combo anyway. Then a Single bicep flex, he winks and points with a trigger thumb at her, letting her know he approves of her blue top and long black skirt. He wonders if she wants a charcoal rubbing of his abs. She is probably too shy to ask.

Before he heads to the office for a series of Sunday meetings with his PR team and his phalanx of intellectual property attorneys, he decides to hit the gym. He changes out of his Carla Behrle leather pants, applies some Bikini Bite to keep things in, and puts on his tangerine posing banana hammock. Extra large. Sprays on a little Hot Stuff to increase and enhance his vascularity and slathers on some Jan Tana posing gel to highlight his muscularity. In the mirror, he sees what you see -- muscle mass, density, ripped definition, intensity, stamina endurance, mental focus, total fitness and power.

In the gym he does some lat pulldowns, triceps pressdowns, hack squats and hits the shower. He slips into his Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt. He heads up to the office for his meetings, pumped and relaxed. On the way he picks up a double-cap-frap-half-caf-mocha-Ergopharm-1-ad-prohormone.

Total Power and fitness. Prohormones. Brown frame Jean Lafont glasses. The Sunday crossword puzzle. Letting women know they look good with a point and a wink. Referring to himself in the third-person. That is what he is about. And if you’ve grown weary of the repeated postings of the guy who wants to give you an erotic massage, you know where to write him.