My prodigious manhood can induce pregnancy in the infertile

I get back from my errands and I'm thinking it's time to take the scarlet satin sheets off the round rotating bed in the boudoir of my Adams Morgan compound and put on the flannel set. Sipping another glass of breakfast wine and creating my tomorrow and contemplating my water. So far my water is happy. Happy water keeps my night stick wielding inner gummy policeman at bay. I create a bit of a delay on the metro tomorrow followed by paperwork in the office. I'm creating that I'll slip into my Carla Behrle leather pants and grey Brooks Brothers shirt. The sleeves will be ripped off at the shoulders to accommodate my gigantic biceps. The material, of course, will be stretched thin and taught over my rock hard pecs. I'll probably wear my Green Hermès tie with little penguins on them. One of my favorite foods. Penguins, not ties. I'll finish the look off with a chunky gold bracelet.

I'll be taking the Red line from Woodley Park to Metro Center where I'll hop on the Orange line to Dunn Loring. Red line delay. Expecting a crowded car, I'll entertain the waiting ladies with a series of poses: Front Double Biceps, Front Lat Spread, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps, and Back Lat Spread. My Brooks Brothers shirt will be in shreds. Think the Incredible Hulk. Think a tanned and beautiful Incredible Hulk -- total fitness and power, muscle mass, ripped definition, stamina, intensity, mental focus. You can tell they'll want me and their men will want to be me.

Good thing I won't be doing a Front Abdominal-Thigh Isolation for them. I can’t afford to lose the Carla Behrle leather pants tomorrow. I’ll be going commando and catching sight of my prodigious manhood can induce pregnancy in the infertile and labor in the pregnant.

Me you ask? Total fitness and power. Happy water. Foreign fashions. Grace and dignity. Creating the future. That is what I am about. And if you have a penchant for the ithyphallic and are tired of the flaccid denizens of craigslist, drop me a line.