Jesus/Dalai Lama-Like Male Proficient in Sensuality. Jealous Attack!

Short, old, way too impressed with himself, former government cipher seeks (permalink)...

SWM, Who Favorably Compares Himself to Jesus/The Dalai Lama Seeks, Smart, Professional Woman

I’m sitting here at my keyboard digesting my lunch. Panda-burger with cheddar. No bun. Listening to plaintive vocal stylings of Lloyd Cole. His voice soothes my growing anger. Anabolic-androgenic steroids, natch. His lyrics are, like me, smart. I’m in my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt. As I type this missive, my thick gold chain bracelet clangs on my keyboard. The noise it makes reminds me of Tibetan prayer bells and I ponder the essence of me -- muscle mass, power, endurance, style, mental focus, manliness. My ultimate goal is to bring you to new heights of sexual ecstacy employing my unique version of man on woman sensuality. Please include your recent photograph in your responsive response. My response will follow your responsive response and will be equally responsive. Then you will respond again. Then I will respond in kind. We'll make plans to meet for a couple of Goldschlager shots to enhance our inner bling but then one of us will cancel at the last minute and we will never meet. The loss will be yours, of course.

This shouldn't be necessary, but in response to requests for clarification --

Examples of "worthy of my supreme hottitude":

• Cool like Pinky Tuscadero (don't ask; use Google)
• Clever like Dorothy Parker
• Sexy like Lisa Loeb
• Funky like a girl version of George Clinton
• Glasses girl like Lisa Loeb
• Smart like Sally Baliunas
• Self-effacing like Jill Sobule
• Jewish like Lisa Loeb & Jill Sobule
• and (not "or") smart enough to be able to distinguish satire from reality.

Examples of "Professional":

• Professional Musician
• Professional Lion Tamer
• Professional Professional
• Somebody who works in an office
• Somebody who considers themselves professional in whatever the do
• Doctor (I wouldn't mind being a doctor's "wife")

Meaning of "Responsive Response":

• A response that demonstrates that the writer is not a spammer and is woman and is worshipful of yours truly.
• A thoughtful, considered response that takes no more than 10 minutes to draft and praises me in at least two different ways.
• A response that is suffieciently worshipful of yours truly.

Criticism of This Ad (Let me know what you think.)

"No one could be that much of a self absorbed asshole as MR. Banana!!!. It made me laugh. If it is true and it's about you, please don't tell me. I live in Falls Church and it would worry me that I might cross paths with you."

"I've read your posts before. You're so full of shit. You can't ride metro shirtless."

He gets letters:

"Cigar! That was GOOD! The 'thick gold chain bracelet' was an especially fitting addition. Well done."