Can you handle my supreme potency?

Early morning for me. I teach a class of Shohei-Ryu Karate that combines aspects of Bollywood dance and costume. The singing and music are great but it is tough to execute the intricate snake-creeps-down-and-performs-the-dance-of-the-Shakti in a silk printed salwar, kameez, and lilac chiffon dupatta. It’s an ancient martial art that is as terrifying as it is deadly.

After class I shower. I practice my Front Lat Spread and Back Lat Spread before slipping into my Carla Behrle leather pants. No shirt. Important meeting at work today. My heavy gold chain with a medallion of a Buddha Vitarka Mudra flanked by a couple of Bodhisattvas is probably a little to showy for my meeting with a reporter with the Wall Street Journal, so I opt for the medallion of a humbled Gajamugasuran bowing before Vinayagar. I stand in front of the mirror to take it all in. Total fitness and power--muscle mass, density, ripped definition, intensity, stamina, endurance, mental focus.

I’ll be jetting to Maryland in a few weeks for a series of meetings with high government officials to consult on what I am known for: love, looking good, and dignity. Seems that they want to export some of my style across the border. For the time being I am free. So if there are any ladies that want to explore hot man on woman sensuality instead of what is offered by the escapist neo-classical pagan milquetoasts who frequent this message board, send me a note. Can you afford not to?

Power. Punctuation. Bollywood. Bricolage. That's what I'm about. If you can handle my supreme potency, drop me a note.

He gets letters:

"You CL ads are hilarious. I sincerely hope that you find the right lady. You should post a photo of yourself in those Carla Behrle leather pants, sans shirt. I bet you look totally hot!"