Looking for Godly Woman Who Believes Sex is a Shameful Act Against God

Not my best effort, been kind of busy and not many inspiring posts lately (that I've come across). I had to use this great photo the Phantom made for me and then today this guy posts looking for a Christian woman to marry or something. The second and third paragraphs just slay me (permalink)...

Single Christian male seeking a good Christian lady who believes sex is a shameful act against God except for making babies. I live alone with a complete collection of Davey and Goliath videos. I attend church on a regular basis, but have not met there what I am looking for: a white female virgin for some godly Christian courtship with the intent of marriage and children. So I am trying this over the Internet. I believe a man and a woman should spend time together in prayer, judging the unsaved.

Not interested in Catholics, Presbyterians, Methodists, Episcopalians, Secular Humanists, Vegans, Europeans, or any other such cultists who might introduce me to exotic new ideas that might cause me to question my True Christian Beliefs. I will, however, pray for your quick end and a speedy journey to a very hot place, where you will be spending all eternity wishing you were playing Stud Poker with Jesus and the Apostles rather than roasting in a literal lake of fire, Amen.

He gets letters:

"I hope you're joking! You are not a true Christian at all if you are A. Sitting around judging people & B. Wishing bad things to happen to others ( saved or unsaved). God & Jesus & Christianity is about Love & compassion & helping your fellow humans."

"You aren't very picky are you?"