Intelligently designed for a special godly virgin

Jeebus seems to be calling me to blaspheme again...

Born-again, never married virgin seeks white female virgin for some godly Christian courtship. Not interested in Catholics, Presbyterians, Methodists, Episcopalians, Secular Humanists, Vegans, Europeans, or any other such cultists who might introduce me to exotic new ideas that might cause me to question my True Christian Beliefs. I will, however, pray for your quick end and a speedy journey to a very hot place, where you will be spending all eternity wishing you were with God’s favorite people rather than roasting in a literal lake of fire, Amen.

Must be height and weight proportionate, into sunsets, walks on the beach, intelligent design, intolerance, Christian worship and fellowship, the book of Leviticus, crusading for Jesus, and judging the unsaved. Please no hang-ups or extra baggage.



He gets letters:

"You sounded perfect in your post, but I'm concerned with your picture of tinky winky on the shoulder of JESUS. Is he a veiled reference to your tolerence of homosexuals?"