"Men's Needs" by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)

Your daily OMARI...and for the record, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is actually the longest word in modern english.

Honorifcabilituninitatibus. Clocking in at 27 letters, honorifcabilituninitatibus is one of the longest words in the English language. It means “honorableness.” The word first appeared in English in 1599, and in 1721 was listed by Bailey's Dictionary as the longest word in English. It was used by Shakespeare in Love's Labor's Lost:

"O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
swallowed than a flap-dragon."

Love’s Labor’s Lost starts in the court of King Ferdinand where explains to Berowne, Longaville, and Dumaine that they can stay at the court to study and contemplate for three years, but that they must: 1) never see, speak to, or be with a woman during those three years, 2) fast once per week, and 3) sleep only three hours per night, all in order to be most fit for concentrating.

Now I could probably deal with the fasting, but I am certainly not able to concentrate on three hours of sleep. And if I were to concentrate, the only thing I’d probably be thinking about is getting some hot man on woman love action. You see, because men have needs, although there is some debate as to what those needs actually are.

On his blog, Steve Danforth says our needs are thus: “We liked women who take care of themselves and can do things on there own…let us know your (sic) into us, I hate to say it but we like you to feed our ego's. Also don't play games.” Others say that our needs are evolutionary in nature, that men are not monogamous, and a man will happily have children with many women, as this spreads his seed around and increases the chances of successful propagation of his genes. And Web MD says that men need more protein than women.

As for fasting once a week, Philip Goglia, PhD, a nutritionist and founder of Performance Fitness Concepts says that we too often we turn to carbohydrate-heavy meals in the evening and that men are better off eating the majority of their protein at dinner, which helps their bodies rebuild muscle tissues overnight. I suppose fasting would impede that “rebuilding” process.

So. Wanna have sex?