"May/December" by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)
More Omari. Yum.
Some of you might have noticed that Tom Cruise is off his rocker, as of late, promoting his latest beard: Katie Holmes. A bit ago I mentioned a desire to see Katie Holmes nude and requested pictures be sent. Sadly no pictures arrived, but someone mentioned a movie called “The Gift” where she appears topless. So I googled her yesterday and I must say nicely done Mr. and Mrs. Holmes! My search also came back with several photos of Ms. Holmes’ head pasted on the body of a young woman who was doing something I remember doing not too long ago and it looked like fun. And wouldn't mind doing it again. Sometime soon.
On “Oprah” a few weeks back, Tom acted like he probably could use a handful of Valiums, but Scientologists don’t believe in medicine and psychotherapy. On the “Today Show” he got in a dust-up with Matt Lauer over psychotherapy and medication before taking on Brooke Shields and her use of medication to help her through her bout with post-partum depression. So, as you can see, Scientologists really really don’t believe in medication and psychotherapy.
Although clearly Tom could use some. If not to deal with his latent homosexuality at least to figure out what attracts him to much younger women. I mean I wouldn’t kick Nicole Kidman out of bed or anything. Fear of commitment? Tom and Katie are getting married supposedly. Peter Pan complex? Possibly. Katie’s nice rack? That would do it for me.
While Scientologists don’t believe in psychotherapy what Scientologists do believe in is that Xenu, a galactic ruler who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth, stacked them around volcanoes, and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to cause people problems today. These events are known to Scientologists as "Incident II," and the traumatic memories associated with them as "The Wall of Fire." Flu? You’ve got clusters of souls sticking to you called Thetans. Post-partum depression? Thetans. Acting like a nutter on “Oprah”? I guess Thetans.
Wild huh?
He gets letters:
"Love the specs, love your posts. So funny, so sharp. Absolutely great."
"You make me laugh with all your ramblings...I"ve read two so far. Now, if only I can try and decide what you are doing in that picture!"
Labels: Not Omari
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