"Harassment" by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)

OMARI posts again. On the break-up. Me wistful about missing out on blowjob parties. I get there eventually.

Fourth of July. This mighty Nation's birthday. Although July 4th is celebrated as America's official split from Britain's rule and the beginning of the American Revolution, the actual series of events show that the process took far longer than a single day. The original resolution was introduced by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia on June 7, 1776, and called for the Continental Congress to declare the United States free from British rule. Three days later a committee headed by Thomas Jefferson was appointed to prepare an appropriate writing for the occasion.

I was in the shower while CNN was broadcasting the President's "4th of July" speech, so obviously I missed it. What I didn't miss was his great stump speach on the topic of medical malpractice that "too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” And while I might not be a real OB-GYN, my father was, and I too have been somewhat hampered in practicing my love with women at least in the DC area. I guess this is the downside to being single.

Being single, I was bemused by Omari's latest posts on breakups. The face-to-face, the phone call, the cold shoulder, the email? What about the e-card? How about "I gave, you took, good-bye!" Or, "Leave me alone, please!" Or even, "Waking up to your face every morning makes bile rise from my stomach leaving me with an unpleasant gastric taste in the back of my mouth. I cannot take it anymore!" Definitely much less messier than the face-to-face. And not as awkward.

Speaking of awkward, several months ago I was at this dinner held prior to a meeting. Let me preface by saying I had just taken our company's mandatory sex harassment training, and our companies policy extends not only to staff, but also to outside members of the association. My session was excrutiatingly long because one staff member insisted on having an ongoing dialogue about backrubs, under what situations they would be appropriate, not appropriate, etc. The consultant basically said that it would be best to stay away from backrubs alltogether.

The dinner was nice. It was held in a private room at Galileo. I had fish. Sitting next to me was a female member, a venture capitalist, having a conversation with another member, a much older venture capitalist on the subject of blowjob parties. Her daughter apparently knows people who go to blowjob parties (not her), where the girls give the boys blowjobs. The much older guy, in his 80s, I suspected didn't really know what the hell she was talking about. And me? I felt a bit awkward. Not sexually harassed or anything. Just a bit awkward. And a bit sad that I wasn't in Jr. High School.



He gets letters:

"Thanks for the story about the blow job parties. What does a girl wear to such an event?"