"Oh Mr. BananaHammock! Your bigness excites me!"

"Oh my god!" I am such an idiot (permalink)...

When was the last time you were in the company of a man as robust and intense and, well manly, as yours truly? A man of power and purpose? A man whose ripped definition lights in you the desire to make a charcoal rubbing of his abs? A man so sexamalicious that his Front Double Biceps and Back Lat Spread combo posedown routine followed by a bicep flex swivel-wrist point and wink causes you to scream at the top of your lungs, “Oh Mr. BananaHammock! Your bigness excites me!”?....when was the last time an absolute stranger on the 42 bus turned to you and stuck his tongue down your throat while groping your breasts and your only thought was, “take me now Mr. BananaHammock! In front of all these people. I don’t care!”? ....when was the last time you were undressed by a man using only the power of his mind, and while you stand before him in your resplendent naked glory scream, “Mr. BananaHammock! Rub my buttocks and bosoms! Your touch sends shudders throughout my body!”...when was the last time a lover concentrated on almost all of your wants and desires, and that while he will make you repeatedly moan and scream "your powerful manliness electrifies me in tangible and meaningful ways", he will want to be on bottom so he can admire himself in the mirror on his ceiling?....perhaps you have been with the wrong man...