"Gaydar" by Mr. Banana Hammock (not Omari)

Over the weekend Omari posted on "the month of summer." Blah.

Last week, or in Omari-speak day 8 of “the month of summer,” the New York Times ran a story suggesting bisexuals are “liars." In it Benedict Carey reported that an upcoming study "casts doubt on whether true bisexuality exists.” The article relied heavily on a single study whose senior researcher has a career marked by ethics controversies and eugenics proposals. Why do care about this topic? That revelation would cast doubt on the enthusiasm displayed by women actresses in girl-on-girl porn. I’m probably not the only guy that would find that disturbing.

I’m sure that is not much of a revelation to most of you. Any girl who knows a guy knows that his ultimate fantasy is to participate in a three-way with two other women. Or at least be allowed to run the camera. My two biggest fantasies involve either having Penelope Cruz scream at me in Portuguese and then we drop right there and have hot and sweaty sex or Penelope Cruz and Winona Ryder have a girl fight, scratch and claw at each other, ripping off clothes, potentially maybe getting all wet (in a sprinkler or fountain), and while I try to break it up after getting a good look, the three of us drop right there and have hot and sweaty sex. Or they have hot and sweaty sex but let me run the camera.

Let me also say that I have pretty good gaydar. When I look in the mirror, my gaydar doesn’t go off. I developed my gaydar over the years hanging out with gay friends, many who insisted that every good looking guy they came across was definitely gay. Even if they weren’t. They just didn’t know it yet.

While I’m not gay or bisexual or even a lesbian, I am comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to hang out with gay friends in gay bars while they gaily do their business. Why? No competition for the women who hang out there also. And their guard is down. They feel safe among these same-sex lovin’ fellas. Safe enough for me to approach them to ask if they want to come over to my place and, I don’t know, see my motorcycle helmet collection.

So, wanna come over and see it?



He gets letters:

"U ONE OF THOSE BROTHERS ON THE DOWNLOW, RIGHT?"

"I would like to get a good look at your helmet collection."