Sure I'm poor...but...

It's all about the benjamins...

It is not all about the money to me. I don’t have any. I have problems meeting women that satisfy my needs as the circle of people that I tend to be around produce poor women who cannot keep me in the style to which I am accustomed.

I have plenty of time on my hands, which I use trying to perfect my sexual techniques (see below). Though I do find myself desiring a companion when I'm home or traveling to my mom’s house in Michigan. Could you be someone who I would connect with?

What I am looking for is a low maintenance woman who can handle me working my way into every aspect of your life like, um, maybe cancer. I am fairly attractive and I expect you to be as well. From the paper sacks I wear as shoes to my green sweatpants I want you to look as good on my arm as they do on me. Plus having a beautiful woman beside me on the 42 bus is half of what taking public transportation is all about. Can I borrow 35 cents for a transfer?

As for sex...well that is another difficult area. I have spent many years attempting to perfect my various techniques to please a woman: man on top, man on bottom, man back on top again maybe even. Kissing privates too!!! I am told it is an amazing feeling of power to make a woman orgasm multiple times. I have yet to achieve this. The problem with all of my expertise is that most women please me in return way too fast. Like 5 minutes or so. Oh. I’m also rather small.

Send me a picture that gets my attention along with a reply that stimulates conversation and I will reply. If you do not send a picture I will not reply.

He gets letters:

"Just had to say that the sweatpants and brown bag shoes was far
funnier than the rich man bit. So which is it? Rich or poor? Can't you decide?"