You Think You Got It Goin' Like A Turbo 'Vette?

Sometimes you just have to brag yourself up to get attention...

To all the people that "THINK" they got it goin’ like a turbo ‘vette.....NOT. You really don't. Or at least you don’t got it goin’ like I have it goin’. A little about me... I'm ¼ French (America), ¼ German (America), ¼ Scot (America), and ¼ string cheese. I am highly cultured and knowledgeable about when it is proper to sit and when it is proper to stand. I know about the escargot fork. I know about the soup knife. I am adept at juggling multiple priorities. I keep up on fashion, politics, and hairstyles. I can create life-preserving devices out of duct tape, paper clips, and rubber bands. Crowds often gather around me when I walk around DC and ask me for advice on a variety of topics, most related to lovemaking, of which I am an expert. I am bigger than a bread box, smaller than a refrigerator, yet vaster than life itself. I can pinpoint my exact spot in the universe. I am grounded yet the laws of gravity don’t apply to me. I can see through your clothes and I like what I see. Men want to be me, their women want to be with me, and evildoers fear me. I can do the frug. I can do the Robocop. I can do the Smurf. I cannot, however, do the YMCA. I have personally calculated PI out to 7 decimal points. When I walk into a crowded room I am me with spontaneous applause. I can channel Elvis. I got it goin’ like a turbo ‘vette.