Nicholas Cage looking for his Angelina Jolie...

"First-time" poster with delusions of grandeur seeks non-sketchy, non-boring girl (permalink). Thanks to Leslie for the beltway reference.

...or Lisa Marie Presley or Kristina Fulton or Alice Kim or Penelope Cruz or Patricia Arquette (or Lindsay Lohan, not because she's been rumored to be with Nick Cage, but because fire-crotch is hot-hot-hot).

Ha ha, I have never done this, ever, lol, never ever, lol, but definitely a first.

You know those days where you just want to sit around your apartment naked, eat potato chips and masturbate while you think about you sex life?

My sex life? My sex life looks kind of like the beltway at rush hour in the rain--miserable, with too many people you want nothing to do with, and nobody's getting anywhere any time soon.

I would like to meet a smart, snarky, glasses girl with a nice figure and a can-do attitude. Sketchy or boring girls need not apply. Excessively hairy girls need not apply. Married girls need not apply. AARP members need not apply. Girls who might try to get a restraining order on me because after 5 dates I ended things and didn't want to "work things out" because I didn't think we had "something too special to just throw away" need not apply.

Anyway, drop me a line :) I’d like to talk.

Oh yeah, I am WHITE!, 6'1, brown hair,brown eyes, and a squishy 166. Think marshmallow on stilts.