Elitist WASP seeks Elitist WASP to Sneer at our Lessers, seriously

Colossal Ass Seeks xtra-special and incredibly unique substrata of society on Craigslist? Ha! (permalink).

6'1" tall, white male, currently an Elitist WASP, fancier of all things upper-crusty, and eternally a snob seeks fellow White Anglo-Saxon Protestant elite female to bond with over sneering at our lessers, long talks concerning the merits of summering in the Hamptons versus summering in Newport (obvious, duh), cucumber sandwiches: butter or cream cheese?, VS, VSOP, or XO?, and how we can keep our boot planted firmly on the necks of the masses through 'compassionate conservatism.' I come from a blue-blooded family from Ann Arbor Michigan, I'm a traditional Midwestern gentleman, and I am definitely not metro-sexual.

I am a complete ass, though I do have a sense of humor, I know many ethnic jokes, and have a strong sense of wit (look that cripple fell down, how rich!), and do not wish to date anyone in my current social circle; hence the advertisement here.

REQUIREMENTS:

Ideally the WASP-ier, the better; any hint of pigment in your skin gets you shown the door.

Preferred age range: 24-34. If you're younger than that you need to impress me with your intellect. A college degree is a must (In case we hit it off really well, and we touch our loins together, I wish that the future progeny must come from the loins of two well-educated people). No diseased loins. Yes, I will check.

Your blood must be blue. Yes, I will check.

You must enjoy those big hats they wear to horse races, wine tasting, teasing the homeless and retarded, and cultural events where other elitist WASPs congregate: the symphony, dining at the Palm, charity balls, the opera, and art galleries.

OK, if you made it through this far, you are probably saying what a catch this guy is, and I am here to tell you that you are right. This message is targeting that extra-special and incredibly unique substrata of society that typically reads craigslist...

Yes, that photo is of me (WASP without the beard), sorry about all the smiling; the photographer was directing me to like I was having a good time at this totally white trash event we decided to go to in order to make fun of white trash. I really do like to scowl though. The other photo is that of my dog, Thaddeus Masterson the Third. He must be accepted as well (He is a great dog, pedigree blood line, a little rough around the edges, and fun to be around. He only smokes Cuban cigars (like me).

He gets letters:

"Hmmm, it seems that between the hours of 2:27am, and 3:36pm you shrunk an inch, and have gone from being a "partial ass' to a "complete ass". You also managed to change dogs, and have gone from being a "traditional Southern gentleman" to a "traditional Midwestern gentleman". Well, at least you have consistently claimed to be a gentleman....I guess neither traditions place an emphasis on honesty. Oh! Let's not forget that in both ads you assert that you are NOT a metro-sexual. Good Luck in your search.....One Smart WASP Lady"

"